Arbitrary Box Office Results for the Weekend of May 19, 2006

This week's box office will not be brought to you by a duck. I ate that duck.

Last night at the movie theater, business was S-L-O-E slow. If I had to venture a guess, I'd say the horrible, horrible reviews of The DaVinci Code have already taken their toll. It's nice to see that somebody else recognizes Opie's lack of directorial skill. Usually he gets Oscar nominations for his poorly-directed movies.

I think Hollywood's fate depends on Superman Returns. X3 is supposed to suck, and M:I 3 and DaVinci have sucked it up. Still, the lackluster opening for DaVinci was bigger than our lackluster opening for M:I 3. Let's take a look at my guesstimates.

1. Mona Lisa Smile (The DaVinci Code): $52.3 million. Something about the girl from "Amelie" and the dude from "Bosom Buddies." No, not Peter Scolari...the brunette one. Hell if I know his name.
   
2. Another Computer-Animated Talking Animal Movie (Over the Hedge): $27.6 million. Because we didn't get enough this year in "Madagascar," "The Wild," "Valiant," "Hoodwinked," "Ice Age 2," and "Doogal,"
3. Seriously...Laurence Fishburne and Philip Seymour Hoffman? (M:I 3): $12.1 million. Seriously...where did all the integrity go?
4. See No Movie (See No Evil): $11.8 million. Other than the fact that this is another bullshit horror movie, I have no insight.
5. Fishfood (Poseidon): $8.2 million. This movie takes the bast part of Titanic and stretches it out to two hours in length. HOW CAN IT FAIL?

Not making it into the top five: Reeking Vagina (R.V.) Finally, this movie is dropping out of the top five, and I can stop trying to think of silly words to fit into the "R.V." template.

If I'm correct, I will go and protest The DaVinci Code with all of the KraZy Katholiks outside of my theater. And there will be pictures.

Arbitrary Box Office Results for the Weekend of May 12, 2006 (and the Results)
Arbitrary Box Office Results for the Weekend of May 5, 2006 (and the Results)
Arbitrary Box Office Results for the Weekend of April 28, 2006 (and the Results)
Arbitrary Box Office Results for the Weekend of April 21, 2006 (and the Results)
Arbitrary Box Office Results for the Weekend of April 14, 2006 (and the Results)
Arbitrary Box Office Results for the Weekend of April 7, 2006 (and the Results)
Arbitrary Box Office Results for the Weekend of March 31, 2006 (and the Results)