Arbitrary Box Office Results for the Weekend of April 28, 2006

Another week with my nose to the grindstone, another week with my wang in a wheelbarrow.

If my picks are right this week (order-wise, not price-wise), one random comment-maker on this post will receive a thong of my choosing. And that's for serious.

1. Adventures of the Hairy-Assed Man (RV): 19.2 million. An oaf drags his family on an RV camping trip and gets lost in the woods. If somebody mistakes Robin Williams for bigfoot, The Simpsons can sue for plagiarism.
2. Snakes on a Plane (United 93): 15.3 million. Take one part historical catastrophe; add a liberal dash of schmaltzy, pandering fictionalization. The end result? The feel-good movie of the year.
3. HEY HILL! SHUT THE HELL UP! (Silent Hill): 10.2 million. Seriously, hill. Be quiet.
4. Shitty Movie 4 (Scary Movie 4): 9.1 million. Bill Pulman rose from the grave to participate in the filming of this movie.
5. Has Anyone Heard of This Movie? (Stick It): 8.3 million. I didn't hear about it until tonight, but it had quite a crowd for some reason. I think it's about lesbians or something. I don't really care.

Not Making the Top Five: Bad Idea for a Movie (Akeelah and the Bee). I HAVE A GREAT IDEA, MR. MOVIE EXECUTIVE: LET'S MAKE A FUNTIME FAMILY ROMP ABOUT A GIRL WHO GOES IN SOME SORT OF SPELLING BEE AND HAS TO DO SOME SPELLING TO WIN THE SPELLING BEE! WE NEED MORE MOVIES ABOUT SPELLING BEES! It could be worse, I suppose. It could be about the geography bee.

Only time will tell if somebody wins a thong tha-thong-thong-thong.

Arbitrary Box Office Results for the Weekend of April 21, 2006 (and the Results)
Arbitrary Box Office Results for the Weekend of April 14, 2006 (and the Results)
Arbitrary Box Office Results for the Weekend of April 7, 2006 (and the Results)
Arbitrary Box Office Results for the Weekend of March 31, 2006 (and the Results)