Chick singers

• Why did nobody tell me about all the awesome chick singers there are out there? Here I've been sobbing to depressing boy music when I could be sobbing to depressing chick music and looking at their breasts. All at the same time. The overuse of italics takes away their emphasis. I'm speaking mostly about Regina Spektor, but also Feist and Ingrid Michaelson and Amy Winehouse and KT Turnstall. And Tori Amos, of course, even though her book bored me to tears (Sorry Ashley. I tried.).
  
  It's also important to mention that all of my knowledge of popular music comes from Old Navy commercials.
  
  There's something incredibly sexy about an aloof girl that sings her feelings. Uhhhhhhhnf.
  
  
• Have I mentioned that I love Picross DS? I can't remember. I've spent the last two months playing Picross during everything. All of my breaks at work. While I'm watching TV shows. The same stupid puzzles over and over again. But look out! Today, the new Legend of Zelda DS game arrives, and so I'll be even more negligent of my social life in favor of my handheld drawring thingy!
  
  
• I've been brushing my teeth with Crest Whitening Expressions for the past few weeks. If you haven't heard, get with the times man! It comes in vanilla and cinnamon and orange flavors! It is like candy, except for your mouth! I do not particularly like it, but it's the only brand in the house right now and I'm too cheap to buy my own tube. There's something unnatural about cleaning your teeth and enjoying the flavor all at once. If I want candy, I will not put toothpaste in my mouth! I will instead eat some delicious candy, and then clean my mouth out with toothpaste that tastes like mint ass. It's the way it has always been and it's the way it always shall be.
  
  
• I am liberal in pretty much all of my views, but I am a Republican when it comes to toothpaste.

Photo for the post! I'll write more on my photography obsession soon, maybe.

Where does depression hurt? Everywhere.

So last night, after six months of the highest excitement I've felt in a long time, I saw Morrissey live in concert the Morrissey concert was cancelled. My buddy Chris got the tip-off from our friend John (of Gorgonites fame), who saved us a trip to Philadelphia and bundles of gas money. It'll apparently be rescheduled, but heaven knows I'm miserable now (do you see what I did there?).

During the day, I vented my extreme disappointment and depression by doing something I've been pondering for months. I bought a Nintendo DS Lite ($129.99). And, by golly is it ever worth it. The hardware is solid, although I think I've been a little spoiled by my Wii. The Wii has functionality built into the system--the Mii channel, the Internet channel, an amazing pack-in game. The DS has none of that. You have to pay $30 for the system's Internet browser, and the only game I could have gotten packed-in was Yoshi's Island DS, which I didn't want and would have cost $25 extra.

However, obviously, the DS's functionality is a direct predecessor of the Wii. Nintendo had its eyes set on reinventing the wheel, and here is where they started. The main novelty of the thing is a touch-screen, manipulated by a pen-like stylus. Just like the Wii, my biggest fear of this system was that I'd find it awkward and leave it sitting in a corner, and I'm happy to say that isn't the case. While the stylus is a little small (larger versions sold seperately), it's intuitive and really just as simple as writing in a notepad. I won't spend too much time belaboring the hardware, as anybody who's read up on video games in the past two-and-a-half years knows about the DS.

Brain Age ($19.99) is a game that promises to "Train Your Brain in Minutes a Day!" through arithmetic tests, word games, memory challenges, and more. Sounds like school, you're saying; but keep in mind, you're saying this to the guy who clips three crossword puzzles out of every daily newspaper to do in his leisure time. The games are fun, and they are played entirely with the stylus, which is nice. You can use the Wi-Fi connection in the system to play all of the games with your DS-wielding buddies if you have them, but only if they're within broadcast range of your system.

The real treat (and the reason I picked up this game) is the little tag on the front: "SUDOKU included!" Just like the rest of America, I'm suffering from a bout of Sudoku Fever (thankfully I had already gotten the Macarena Plague out of my system). This is a fun and fairly flawless game. You write the numbers and it recognizes them (unless you're like me, in which case you're too sloppy). I've spent hours with this, and I haven't exactly had all the free time in the world. If you're the puzzle type, I'd recommend picking up this game. I already feel like I got my $20 worth.

Meanwhile, Mario Kart DS ($34.99) is amazing. Amazing. Amazing. In addition to all of its new tracks (of which there are many), the game features a "best of" from all the previous Mario Kart games--Super Nintendo's Super Mario Kart, Nintendo 64's Mario Kart 64, Game Boy Advance's Mario Kart Super Circuit, and GameCube's Mario Kart Double Dash. Each one is flawlessly reinterpreted for the DS.

I was a little hesitant about the controls--I had never played the SNES and GBA versions, and had always used the analog control stick. However, the kart-racing genre seems not to be hurt by this. The power-slide (a simple and necessary move in earlier games) is made a bit harder, as drift comes into play. This is not a bad thing, and it takes a bit of skill in both gameplay and racer selection to master the technique.

The best part, though, is the online play. Assuming that you have a wireless Internet connection available (Nintendo offers a $30 adapter, but you're better off starting a network with a wireless router), you are able to play with anybody around the world. You can pick randomly-matched Regional and Worldwide races, and if you have a friend with a DS, you can use their friend code. It's a hell of a good time, and I'd recommend it.

Anyway, I bought and played that stuff when I would have been driving to Philadelphia. With my evening, I went to Gullifty's Underground in Camp Hill, PA for a concert. Typical bar fare--dark lighting, a general selection of alcohols (I don't drink), and greasy food.

The first band (and my reason for going) was The Gorgonites (official site). I've mentioned them here, here, here, here, here, here, and there, but I'll say it again--they're a great, fun local band. Their lyrics are awfully vulgar, but mixed with their melodies, their ridiculous stageshow, and the welcome addition of a drummer, you're in for a good time. If you aren't easily offended, I'd recommend checking them out.

Next up was The Pawnshop Roses (official site), who were--according to my friend Jess--"alt rock country blues." Two of my friends left during this set, but I didn't think the band was that bad. The musicianship was good enough. I only found two or three of their songs catchy enough to nod my head, and there was no real stage presence. Each song led directly to the next, and there was no banter or even a sign of personality among the men on stage. I wouldn't walk out on their set, but I wouldn't take strides to see them again.

Headlining was The Underwater (official site), who managed to draw in quite the crowd. I was impressed by the drummer, and severely impressed that the lead singer managed to squeeze himself into a pair of pants that tight. Musicianship was all there, and they had a hell of a stage presence, working the crowd that seemed to know all of the band's lyrics. It wasn't my type of stuff, but I could see somebody leaving there having found a new favorite band. Very professional, and possibly will go big some day.

Anyway, I made it home in time to catch the second half of QuizNation, which proves that I am a terrible human being. I hope Morrissey gets well soon, because I really could have used that concert.

1408 Big Sixties Hits!

I watched John Waters' Hairspray with my family on Saturday night, and it was a quality flick. Just the right mix of styles--some broad, physical comedy (see the pimple-popping scene or Waters' own cameo as a bizarre psychologist), quirky oddity (the best friend's reaction to seeing her pal on the television for the first time), and social commentary (the entire race plot).

Waters looks beyond the sociocultural "norms," incorporating a drag queen, interracial relationships, the obese (one of whom gets the cute guy), and should be commended for it. You can have all your Snakes on a Planes and Grindhouses, but they're kitschy for the sake of kitsch. Waters has camp down to an artform, and he manages to make salient points throughout his film while still managing to be bizarrely entertaining.

I may have been the only one in the room to enjoy it.

On the video game front, I've still been using my Playstation 2. I popped in the movie tie-ins, Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers and Lord of the Rings: Return of the King. These games are particularly well-made and replayable--especially for movie tie-ins, which are usually made on the cheap. EA Games has gone all out to make your time an enjoyable experience.

In Two Towers, you battle your way through classic scenes from the first two LOTR pictures, playing as Aragorn, Legolas, or Gimli. In Return of the King, your entourage expands to include Gandalf and the four Hobbits as you fight your way through a mishmash of scenes that could have happened in the latter two films.

The games function very much like Gauntlet if you've ever played that. Hack-and-slash tactics will net you experience points so that you can buy upgrades. The trade-off is that you lose Gauntlet's trademark goofy style (think transformation into a chicken, or a bombstic announcer) and gain familiar situations and voices from the popular film trilogy. The games are difficult. This is partially by design, and that's a good thing. It gives you reason to replay the game in order to build up enough upgrades to defeat further levels.

However, both games suffer from some unintentional difficulty, dealing mainly with glitchy graphics and bad camera angles. This is especially true of Return of the King, which leads me to believe that it was built not for gameplay, but to trump on the Two Towers game's (unexpected?) critical and financial success.

When you defeat the second game in the series, and advertisement appears for a Lord of the Rings Trilogy game, presumably in the same style. Unfortunately, this never came to pass. With enough invested time into the gameplay mechanics and engine, that could have been a fantastic game.

I can say just about the opposite for Resident Evil: Code Veronica X. I picked this up on the cheap years ago and didn't pop it into the PS2 until this past weekend. I couldn't make it past the first zombie without turning the system off in frustration (and even then, I tried for an hour...damn my stubbornness).

The controls are awful. Do you remember Star Wars: Shadows of the Empire for the Nintendo 64? A fairly good early 3D console shooter, no? Do you remember the entirely useless "Cinematic" camera angle option, which made controlling things nearly impossible? No? That is because nobody in their right mind used the fucking thing. This is what the controls are like for Code Veronica X. Unresponsive, unintuitive, and just plain annoying. Compound onto that should-be-simple movement component all of the other tasks required of you (i.e. fighting, aiming, etc.), and it's Bungtown--population you. I was disappointed, because I had heard so many good things about the Resident Evil franchise. I have a friend who is going to lend me some other games in the run, and hopefully that will restore my faith in the gaming public.

I've had Tenacious D's The Pick of Destiny in my car stereo this week. I never did get a chance to see the movie, and I'm not sure whether that's a good thing or a bad thing. On one hand, I'm completely lost as to the plot of the movie. Judging by the soundtrack, it's a coming-of-age story about a young man brought up in a Christian household, who must undergo a battle with Satan through "rock-off challenge." There's also apparently car chases, Sasquatch, and a magical guitar pick.

On the other hand, having not seen the movie has its perks. I'm left with brilliant non sequiturs which make little-to-no sense. Stuff about Ronnie James Dio and "deactivating lasers with [one's] dick." The stuff probably loses humor with context (and I'm not sure I want to see Jack Black's privates in action anyway). Still, lyrics or no, Tenacious D shows the same masterful use of rock instrumentation, melody, and harmony that made their initial offering a success. A definite recommendation.

Today I helped a friend move out of her place and then we caught a matinee of 1408. I thought it was an outstanding movie, until it ended and I realized that I didn't get it at all. And not in a makes-you-think, David-Lynch kind of way. Just in an extremely confusing (mind-bottling) kind of way.

As I said, my first impression was that it was great. My mind was racing the whole time. The performance was outstanding--and I say "performance" singular because this is John Cusack's movie--nobody else gets more than ten minutes. Samuel L. Jackson is given equal billing on the posters, but he turns in nothing but a glorified (albeit well-acted) cameo. It was genuinely a scary picture, and I can't say that I've been scared in a theater in a long time--probably since The Ring.

It's a shame then that it had to fizzle out. We're left with an ending that does nothing for the character, and which includes a twist on another key character which makes absolutely no sense whatsoever. In fact, I would have liked this movie five times more if they had excised that particular twenty-second scene.

And now, for your reading pleasure: 1408 endings that would have been better than the ending to 1408.

1) John Cusack is rescued from room 1408 by a magical, winged Elvis impersonator.
2 through 1408) Etc.

Land Shlubbing

I've been shlubbing around doing absolutely nothing for the past few days. Skipped the gym. All that business. But I plugged in the ol' PS2 and played some games.

For about six hours I played Kingdom Hearts, which (if you've been living under a video-game-free rock for the past five years or so) is a game that mixes up Final-Fantasy-style characters and gameplay with all of your animated Disney favorites. Characters from things like Alice in Wonderland, Tarzan, Aladdin, The Nightmare Before Christmas, Winnie the Pooh, Hercules, Peter Pan, The Little Mermaid. Well, it probably has most of those. I have to be honest and say that I got bored in the middle of the second world, which was based on Tarzan.

There's a lot of drudgery in this game. Hack-and-slash action, essentially, which is a step-up from the turn-based action of most RPGs, but even this gets old fast. You do some team-making and organization but for the most part you're stuck with Donald Duck and Goofy. The worlds are small, and you pretty much walk down a cattle chute for the extent of what I've played thus far. This is like a Final Fantasy game, except dumbed down and made more accessible.

Despite the new and obvious differences, I had the same problem with Kingdom Hearts that I have with Final Fantasy and most roleplaying games. I was bored. I was yearning for a Legend of Zelda which takes the best parts of roleplaying games, and then incorporates minigames, puzzles, and free-roaming quests. I don't know if I'll be finishing (or even continuing) this game, and if you have the same sentiments about roleplaying games as I do, I can't recommend it.

The other game I've popped in is State of Emergency. This game is instantly accessible and silly and bloody. You're some convict gangmember, and the story mode has you going through riotous environments and causing chaos in order to bring down "The Corporation," a 1984-esque conglomerate that controls the people through fear and chemicals. That's about all I know about the story mode, and I don't really care about it.

What I do care about is smashing things and bludgeoning people with appliances, furniture, assorted weapons, and body parts--heads, limbs, torsos. You can beat somebody with a freaking torso. Worth the $5 clearance cost of this game if you can find it used.

The free-play mode has you causing as much chaos as possible before you either run out of time or get killed. I wouldn't recommend playing State of Emergency for more than maybe an hour at a time, but if you have some afternoon to kill and just want mindless violence, this is a nice change of pace from Grand Theft Auto.

Exercising the Demons

Back in the swing of things with exercise. The new routine starts with a 7:30am swim at my gym's pool. Then a jacuzzi break and a sauna break. After that, it's off to run on the treadmill. Then some light weightlifting.

I feel fairly good. For too long I've almost felt myself get pudgier as I was lethargic. I've noticed some of the paunch go away already, after only three days.

And if you were wondering how I could somehow tie in a video game review: every night right before I go to bed is phase 2 of the exercise cycle. I turn on the Wii News Channel Slideshow and do an abdominal/stretching/relaxation routine of my own design that lasts the length of the day's news--roughly twenty-five minutes.

The channel posts every Associated Press news story from the day in a number of categories--from National News to Technology. The headlines stay up for five seconds and then move on to the next, accompanied by some fun map techniques. The music is ultra-soothing, too. Perfect for an exercise/cooldown setting. Never have I been so well-informed. I can tell you how long Paris Hilton has been in prison, when Roger Clemens expects to start playing, and who just got executed in Texas. That's right. All the important stuff.

Things I Did Yesterday: The Post

Yesterday was my first big day stepping out from the auspices of the World Wide Internet. I would say it was a smashing success.

I sat down and played a game of the original Super Mario Bros. (Nintendo, 500 Wii points) on my Wii's Virtual Console. I know it's not particularly different than staring at a computer monitor, but it got me out of my bedroom and that was different enough. The game itself: everybody knows it. It's a classic. It came bundled with every Nintendo Entertainment System. After years of advancement in gaming technology and numbers of wonderful sequels, does it stand the test of time?

Well hell yeah it does.

The game is not only still fun, but it's challenging too. I bought it a little over a week ago, and I have yet to make it through. I made it to World 7-4, and I got stuck at Bowser and his stupid hammer attack. I have no idea how I beat this game when I was a kid.

Of the five virtual console games I've bought, I only regret one--the original Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (Konami, 600 Wii points) for the NES, which is just as impossible now as it was when I was six. I can't make it past the first water stage. The controls are clunky, the graphics are glitchy as hell, and I really had no interest in going back and trying to do any better.

There are some fun ideas in the game--especially the ability to switch characters at a whim to utilize their various weapons' strengths and conserve health--but ultimately it falls flat. The first boss fight--Bebop the mutant warthog--is virtually impossible, and I can't get past him without losing two of my four turtles. Virtual Console Game Genie, anybody?

For the Nintendo Entertainment system games, there are three ways to control. You can turn your Wiimote on its side, allowing for the 1 and 2 buttons to function as NES's A and B. The Wiimote doesn't fit well into your hands, and I'd strongly recommend going for one of the other options.

If you have a GameCube controller or four lying around, you can plug them directly into the console. The A and B buttons function as...well, the A and B buttons. You can control movement with either the directional pad or the analog control stick (although obviously you're limited to only four axises of movement). It's not the best option (at least for these NES games), but it's fairly cheap. My Wal Mart was blowing out third-party GameCube controllers for ten bucks a pop when the Wii came out, and last I saw there were still some on the shelves.

Third option is probably the best one, but it'll set you back twenty bucks per controller. That's the Wii Classic Controller (Nintendo, $19.99). It's laid out essentially like the Super Nintendo paddle, except they squeezed a couple of analog control sticks on there and some shoulder buttons. The NES A and B buttons are controlled by the Classic Controller's A and B or X and Y buttons. The X and Y seem a little more comfortable for me. It's completely ergonomic (especially for the simple NES games).

The only drawback to the Classic Controller is that it has to be connected to a Wiimote. It'll suck those AA batteries dry, so forget about charging that puppy when you're doing some classic gaming. That also means that if you want to play multiplayer classic games, you'll not only need a $20 Classic Controller, but also a $40 Wiimote for each player (or the slightly more economical GameCube controllers if you can find them).

I'd call Nintendo's Virtual Console an unmitigated success, assuming you have the cognizance to be fairly picky with your choices. For every Super Mario Bros there will be a Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, so do your research and read reviews beforehand. Sometimes nostalgia won't serve you well.

Then again, sometimes it will, and it seems like Nintendo releases at least one worthwhile classic game per week that is well worth your money. NES games retail for 500 or 600 Wii points (about $5 or $6) depending on which company released them. Sure, you could easily download these things illegally and run them on emulators, but there's something to be said about owning something, and enjoying it on the big screen television.

---

I read the latter half of a collection of short stories. The book was Samuel Johnson is Indignant: Stories by Lydia Davis. Davis visited my school for a reading about two months ago, and I was so enthralled that I picked this up immediately thereafter.

Her writing is fresh, and out of the ordinary in that she follows no particular structure. Some of her stories are like the traditional short story--twenty pages long, maybe more. Other "stories" are one page long; one paragraph long; one line long. Davis is terse and to the point in all of her stories, and yet still whimsical enough to not read like stereo instructions. Her prose is almost like poetry--every word has a weight and significance to it that much of fiction--at least for me--does not have. Take, for example, this excerpt from her piece entitled "Letter to a Funeral Parlor."

We noticed that before the death of my father you and your representative used the words loved one to refer to him. That was comfortable for us, even if the ways in which we loved him were complicated.
Then we were sitting there in our chairs in the living room trying not to weep in front of your representative, who was opposite us on the sofa, and we were very tired first from sitting up with my father, and then from worrying about whether he was comfortable as he was dying, and then from worrying about where he might be now that he was dead, and your representative referred to him as "the cremains."
At first we did not even know what he meant. Then, when we realized, we were frankly upset. Cremains sounds like something invented as a milk substitute in coffee, like Cremora, or Coffee-mate. Or it sounds like some kind of chipped beef dish.

Everything in the collection is like this--bittersweet and funny and philosophical and fairly meaningful. I would strongly recommend the book, and I'll definitely be reading more of her stuff in the near future.

Mandatory stories: "Old Mother and the Grouch," "First Grade: Handwriting Practice," "The Furnace," "The Silence of Mrs. Iln"

---

So that's all the reviewable stuff. I watched what was, I think, the only episode of South Park I had never seen. I also was social with my friend Theresa and joined a gym, where I swam, jacuzzi-ed, saunaed, and ran three miles. Today will be more misadventure, and it will be reported in the future (i.e. probably tomorrow).

Six-Word Reviews

I'm just about graduated from college, and I'll never be looking back. I'm slacking. I'm slacking at school work, and I'm slacking at this website. Here are a bunch of six-word reviews of things that I've seen/played/read/done this week.


MOVIES

Casino Royale (2006): Still the best Bond movie ever.
Belle & Sebastian: Fans Only (2004): Insightful look into a happy-ass band.
The Smiths: The Complete Picture (1992): Made me feel gay, but good.
Uncle Saddam (2003): A joke documentary with little humor.
Morrissey: Oye Esteban (2000): A testament to a pop genius.
Morrissey: Who Put the M in Manchester? (2005): Awe inspiring live performance, partially shirtless.
The Bourne Identity (2002): Lost some luster after Casino Royale.
The Bourne Supremacy (2004): Enjoyable and better than the first.
Baghdad Bob (2003): Funny documentary about Iraqi Information Minister.


VIDEO GAMES

Trauma Center: Second Opinion (2006, Wii): Good use of controls, boring story.
Wii Play (2007, Wii): Multiplayer fun with a free controller!
Snoodoku (2005, PC): Sudoku with brilliant interface, weird monsters.


BOOKS

The Alphabet of Manliness by Maddox (2006): Hilarious bathroom reading from Internet mainstay.


EVENTS

Literary reading by authors Silas Zobal and Catherine Dent: Beautifully sad stories by married writers.


FOOD

Marshmallow GREEN Peeps (March 2007): Extremely soft and fresh--new color.
Marshmallow Peeps Snowmen (December 2006): Halfway stale, but softened in microwave.
Marshmallow Peeps Orange-Flavored Eggs (March 2007): An amazing flavor, like a Creamsicle.
Marshmallow Peeps Strawberry Hearts (February 2006): Not hard at all, but tasty.
Marshmallow Peeps Vanilla Hearts (February 2006): Not too different from regular Peeps.


TELEVISION

Survivor (Thursday 3-22-07): Rocky says the word--Anthony's gone.
Scrubs (Thursday 3-22-07): Nurse Roberts? Say it ain't so!
Andy Barker, PI (Thursday 3-22-07): After weak premiere, episode shows promise.
The Amazing Race (Sunday 3-25-07): Ugh! Midget in first; elderly gone.
Prison Break (Monday 3-26-07): Tension ratcheting up; season finale near.
24 (Monday 3-26-07): Mentally retarded terrorist? A new low.
Lost (Wednesday 3-28-07): Paolo's death was worth the wait.
South Park (Wednesday 3-28-07): 24 parody outdoes the real 24.

Hope that was as enlightening for you as it was time-killing for me.

Tell me something...Do you ever feel a strange sadness as night falls?

Here it is! The main event! The game that had me salivating since I saw it announced for the GameCube in a crappy video game magazine in the Summer of 2004. Sure, the quick announcement (only about a year after its previous installment) was probably more in response to all of the backlash about Wind Waker's more "kid-like" graphics than to prime people for this game's release, but it was still something.

I'm talking, of course, about the game that was widely considered "Game of the Year" for 2006: Legend of Zelda: Twilight Princess. It's the latest installment in my absolute favorite video game series, and it's been showered with praise by almost every reviewer on the Internet. As such, I'm not going to write such a glowing review. (Note now that if you're still intending to play the game and haven't, there will be SPOILERS SPOILERS SPOILERS in this review).

It's a wonderful game. Probably among my favorite Zelda games. But if you're the kind of person that reads reviews of Zelda games, chances are that you already know that. You've either played the game or seen enough online to know that there's something special about this sequel. So I'm going to get to the brass tacks of it. What does this game bring to the Zelda series that makes it so new and refreshing? And, more importantly, how does it work on the Wii?

The most fun thing about Zelda games for me is to see the Items innovention. That is to say, to see the changes they've made to our old-timey Zelda favorites and the new additions they've added.

For the first time in Link's 3D endeavors, he's given a fishing rod. You can fish anywhere there's water in the game, utilizing different lures to catch different fish. It comes in handy twice during the story, but unless you're an obsessive "Must-Finish-One-Hundred-Percent-of-Gamer," you probably won't find yourself fishing all that much. Later in the game, you'll find your way to a fishing hole where you can win fabulous prizes.

Also a fresh 3D addition--and much more useful--is the lantern. Instead of having to find Deku Sticks to transport fire from torch to torch, you can simply carry it with you in your ever-expansive pockets. In addition to its usefulness in numerous Dungeon puzzles, the lantern is key in picking up Pieces of Heart and rupees. Also, puzzles seem to be a bit harder now that you have the lantern. In the previous games, you would walk into a room and know it was a fire puzzle because of the handy torches at your disposal. Now, you have to figure it out on your own. Hard dungeon puzzles are good.

The Gale Boomerang is a new twist on an old favorite, sort of like Cherry Vanilla Dr. Pepper except not shitty. It has all the features of your previous boomerangs--it can lock onto five objects at once. However, as indicated by the name, it also controls the power of the wind (usually a feature of your magic power). You can manipulate wind-operated drawbridges among other things. Outside of the first dungeon, the gale boomerang becomes sort of pointless, and I would have liked to see its wind-power utilized for some other, fun puzzles.

Ah, the trusty iron boots. You know them. You love them. You're irritated by them when you forget to take them off after you leave the water. Well, good news! They're fun as hell in this game. In addition to their usual practical uses of sinking in the water and walking into the wind, they are now connected to magnetic rock, allowing you to walk on the walls and ceilings of certain environments. Just like the Gale Boomerang, this function really only works for one dungeon, but it made the dungeon one of my favorite levels in the game.

There are a few bomb upgrades, although nothing thrilling. You can throw them underwater now, which is kind of nice. The bombchus are expensive, and I made it the whole way through the game without using them. I'm sure you could use them for some Pieces of Heart, but to be honest I was hoping for at least one irritating Bombchu mini-game. You can combine bombs with your arrows, which will do in a pinch. However, except for two puzzles in one dungeon, the power of arrows alone will suffice.

The Hawkeye is this game's version of Wind Waker's telescope. It's given a more practical use as a scope for your "Sniper Bow," although the accuracy of the Wii remote renders the scope almost pointless. You don't need it to complete the game, but it's fun to look across the expanse of Hyrule Field at any rate.

Here's a fun one: the Spinner. It's very difficult to explain, but think of a razorblade skateboard. Looking back at that previous sentence, there's no way this should work in a game like Zelda. Still, it's a handy tool for getting to places you hadn't previously been able to go. There's one dungeon room that proves infinitely frustrating, but for the most part it's a fun addition if a little offbeat.

Another fun, new one: the ol' ball and chain. It doesn't serve a whole lot of purpose, and there's not a whole lot of point to destroying things with a giant...oh, who am I kidding? Smashy smashy!

The most fun thing is the Double Clawshot (nee Hookshot). Link takes a clawshot in both arms, allowing for a number of more challenging and entertaining aerial puzzles. You don't get to fly along like Tarzan or anything, but you do get to traverse lots of areas in which floors are not exactly a factor.

Those are really all the new items. There's no ocarina (or baton), and your musical instrument becomes your voice...as a wolf.

Yeah, you play as a wolf for approximately half of the game. It's a completely different set of controls. You can't use any of the above-mentioned fun items, but you can tear at the jugular of enemies, dig for treasure, and smell things. Fun! The wolf attack is weak, but its speed is far greater than Link's landspeed (unless he's on a horse). So there are advantages to being a wolf if you're in a hurry to get somewhere. It's all kind of irrelevant, though, as you'll mostly have to be the wolf when you are the wolf. You are aided by a mysterious creature called Midna who will give you the ability to reach unreachable places. The wolf thing was my greatest point of hesitation about the game, and I'm happy to say that it works beautifully.

Midna is a fun character. A twisted little wretch that likes to ride on Wolf Link's back (and tag along with Normal Link as a shadow). Midna serves as the "Fairy" role, giving you hints and providing useful services throughout the game.

Zant is the other major newbie, and the game's main villain. The first time you see him open his mouth, try to tell me that you aren't repulsed. It gets kind of silly towards the end, but Zant was a character that really "scared" me--not in the sense that I was curled in the fetal position, but he certainly exudes more intimidation than the now-standard Ganondorf villain.

There are tons and tons of other, more minor innovations in this game, but the ones that struck me are all listed above. Discover them for yourself, will ya? Or at any rate, read a less lazy review.

The game was originally designed for the GameCube, and it was only ported to the Wii as an afterthought. So how does it work with the Wii remote?

Marginally well. The swordplay is a little awkward. You flick your wrist to slice, and it takes about a second for Link to actually slice. A button is more immediate. Still, it takes only a minute or two to adjust, at which point you'll be cutting up like an old pro.

The real fun of the Wiimote comes in the form of the aimed weapons--the slingshot, the boomerang, and the clawshots. My biggest problem with the previous 3D Zelda adventures was the aiming of ranged weapons. With control sticks, it was extremely awkward, and I would always end up without arrows when I needed them most. Now it's simple. Point, aim, pull the trigger. It makes the game more fun/challenging as opposed to infuriating/challenging. I can't even imagine some of the more complicated Double Clawshot puzzles with a standard controller.

So it works. I'd be interested to see the next game in the series, which will presumably be built from the ground up with the Wiimote in line. Swordplay would probably be a lot smoother and player-controlled.

I can't say it enough: play this game. If Wii Sports hadn't already taken care of it, Twilight Princess would have justified the Nintendo Wii purchase for me. Even if you're relegated to GameCube status (there's also a version for that console), go out and buy/rent the game. I beat it in a little less than forty hours, and I have a feeling that I barely have begun to scratch the surface of the new Hyrule.

Loose Ends

So I've reviewed the five main Wii Sports: tennis, baseball, bowling, golf, and boxing. What else could there be? Well, there could be the most entertaining parts of the game, for starters.

The Training Mode provides three different mini-games for each sport, each focusing on a different skill or combination of skills that will benefit your gameplay in the main attractions. Then there's the matter of the Wii Sports Fitness Test.

Tennis Training is, much like the actual game, an awful lot of fun. The first training mission is to return serves. Sounds simple, and it is. However, the intensity ramps up with each passing serve. As soon as you miss one, the mission is over. The second is also returning serves, but accuracy is also a factor. You have to hit the ball into a zone that is ever in motion. One miss and you're done. Finally, there's the accuracy exercise, which places targets on a brick wall. You need to hit as many targets as possible, which is made difficult when the brick wall falls apart with every missed hit. It's extremely frustrating to make a mistake and have to start over from scratch. Still, it's fun.

Baseball Training. There are a couple of simple batting and accuracy exercises (thirty pitches for batting, ten for accuracy), but the most important is the Home Run Derby. Face off against your friends. It's easier to hit home runs than you'd think (especially because it's fairly difficult in-game). Still, it's fun to see who can receive the top score.

Bowling Training is frustrating for me because I suck at bowling. In one, you can pick up spares. You have something like three chances to miss, and each round gets harder. Obstacles even pop up within the lane. There's also one where you rack up points on a progressive number of pins and another one that is even less thrilling. Ho hum.

Golf Training tests your accuracy at three different levels--driving, chipping, and putting. Putting is especially interesting for me, because it gives me a taste of what my fantasized Wii Mini Golf would be like. Otherwise, you'd probably be better off playing one of the actual, well-designed golf courses.

Finally, Boxing Training tests three different skills. Punch power is measured by smacking the hell out of punching bags. Punch accuracy is measured by sparring with a trainer who holds up pads. Finally, you get a sort-of-fun dodgeball game, where you need to lean away from the trainer's barrages. Punch accuracy is infuriating for the reasons detailed in my review of Boxing, but the dodgeball one is well worth it.

The Fitness Test is a modified combination of all of the above mini-games. Every day, you're allowed to test yourself once. Three training missions are selected at random, and the quality of your performance gives you a "Fitness Age" of somewhere between 20 and a billion. Or something. I've fallen into the 40's on a bad day, but I tend to stick right around 27 or 28. It's a good five years older than I am, but I can find solace in the fact that it's not really testing my fitness, but rather my coordination. And if you've ever seen me in real life, you'd know how uncoordinated I am. 28 Fitness Years is a victory.

Anyway, here's the thrilling conclusion. Usually, I take the last paragraph of a review to say whether I think something is worth buying or not. However, this game comes for free with the system. Some of it is better than the rest, that's for sure. Still, Wii Sports is a fantastic testament of what the new controller can do, and the game is worth playing. You'll probably find yourself gravitating to some favorites on a daily basis. Next, I put the Wii to the test: how does it function with real games?

I got nothing against him, but I'm definitely gonna make orphans of his children.

I'm closing out the main portion of Wii Sports today, and it's going to be full of shocking twists and delightful Simpsons references. Well, if you've made it this far you've already missed the Simpsons reference, but feel free to scroll up.

Wii Sports: Boxing is the only segment of the game to utilize the Nunchuck attachment. You won't need to hit any buttons, and everything is controlled with different tilting motions. The nunchuck is your left hand, and the Wiimote is your right. To punch, you thrust the controllers toward the television. To protect yourself, you hold them up towards your face. If you lean your body (and, as an extension, the controllers) to either side, your Mii will lean too, dodging the directional punches.

Boxing is, without a doubt, my least favorite portion of the game. And let's get this straight: I love the rest of the sports in the package. I just plain don't like this. At all. The controls are not intuitive in the least. When you actually punch your arm, your character doesn't punch. You have to flick your wrist instead, almost like you're snapping a bullwhip. Also, I've had a lot of accuracy problems. While I've been able to remedy most of my bigger problems in the rest of the sports, Boxing seems to have some serious flaw. Then again, I've never read about said flaws in any other reviews, so maybe it's just personal preference.

It's not without its merits. The leaning mechanism plays with your natural movement in order to move the player. Motions you don't even know you make tilt your wrists and subsequently your player. Also, there's the novelty of squaring off against the spitting-images of your friends, family, and favorite fictional characters. You decide why I included the previous sentence: was I just trying to find another positive about Wii Sports: Boxing, or was I merely thrilled with the alliteration.

It's awkward. It's easy (even working yourself up to near-pro levels, you'll have no problem knocking out the computerized challengers). It's generally not fun. I think there may be some novelty in the multiplayer, where you can face each other and throw punches, but the tournament mode leaves an awful lot to be desired. It's a sour way to close out such a wonderful game. Thankfully, that's not how Nintendo did it. There are several extra features related to these sports, and they're all addictive and fairly genius. But that's for later.

Use an open-faced club! The sand-wedge!

Wii Sports: Golf. It's not yer uncle's golf.

Golf is the most complicated of the games in Sports, and as a result it probably has the most solo replay value. There are a number of things you need to take into account. Wind speed and direction. The lay of the green. What club do you want to use? How hard do you want to hit it? Will you try to take a shortcut over that distant water hazard, or will you play it safe and save the strokes?

The basic controls are pretty self-explanatory. You hold the Wiimote like a golf club. You can practice-swing. To approach the ball, you need to hold in a button. It's simple. The game will choose which club is best for your current needs (although you can, of course, experiment). One of the ancillary buttons shows you the lay of the green, which is essential for the more difficult levels of putting. Obviously, you'll need a means to adjust your direction to make up for wind speed, and the control pad does the job nicely.

I've never played actual golf, but I've always assumed that swinging the club would be the most difficult part. In this game, it's just the opposite. You get an unlimited amount of practice time, and it gives you a gauge to show you if you're too weak or too powerful. The real challenge of Wii Golf is dealing with the environment. The wind is killer, and as you progress in level the courses get more and more elaborate.

Along with bowling, this is one of the only Wii Sports games that allows for multiplayer with only one controller. Also much like bowling, I got beaten severely every time. Great.

My only problem with Golf is the putting. When I'm putting, I expect to use an extremely gentle touch. However, you have to put quite a bit of power into the Wiimote swing to get your putt on. It's not a problem and you can make enough adjustment to get used to it, but it seems a bit unnatural.

I like golf, although I would appreciate some sort of fun mini-game involving driving the cart like crazy around the courses. And I would love--LOVE--if Nintendo created and sold Wii Mini-Golf with a variety of courses. Of all the Wii Sports games, this is the one that most deserves a full-version expansion.

Wait a minute! I don't remember writing a check for bowling!

For years, the time-honored sport of bowling has been admired by groups of friends and men that want to escape from their nagging wives. And what better way to get out for a night of bowling than to stay in for a night of bowling! Grab yerself a beer and a chili dog and get ready for the most active sport this side of racecar driving! Wii Sports: Bowling, comin' at ya.

Once again, the controller is very much the essence of this game, and excepting the use of one button (which essentially tells the machine when you want to let go of the ball), it's all about your form and technique. And let me tell you: I suck at bowling. Much like real life, in which I cannot properly throw a bowling ball down an alley, I ended up with a lot of near misses. On her first play of Bowling (and actually, her first play of anything on the Wii), my mom soundly thrashed me. For whatever reason, my ball pulls to the left. I need bowling lessons.

My personal problems aside, it really is a great and intuitive system. Every person I know that's given the game a try has said that their Mii's bowling perfectly matches their own. All of the spin you can put on the ball. All of the different times you can release it. It adds up to, probably, the best hardware showpiece in the Wii Sports collection. You want to know what the Wii can do? Holy shit, it can do this.

I've taken to bowling "granny-style," because at least that way I can get the ball to go straight. The game can't sense that I'm doing that, but I'm totally going underleg. That's my wish for the inevitable Wii Sports 2--learn to visually portray the different techniques of the amateur bowler. And also, I want it to do my homework for me. Do I ask too much?

The game is one of the only two on the disc that allows for multi-player with a single Wiimote, which is especially helpful when NO STORES ANYWHERE CARRY WIIMOTES. Seriously. I waited two hours outside of Circuit City for my game system, and half the people there were waiting solely for the controller. The store had actually gotten fewer supplemental controllers than gaming systems. Still, due to the nature of bowling, the passing around of a controller doesn't detract from the game. It's fun to gather your friends around and get soundly thrashed.

It's a great, well-designed game. Probably the best in the collection, to be entirely honest. I'm a little disappointed, however, that I suck at it. If you're a pro bowler or have lots of friends, this will probably be the most interesting Jenny on the block. Otherwise, you'll probably find yourself gravitating towards the sports that require less talent. I'm a tennis pro!

You have to chug a beer at the top of all odd-numbered innings. Oh, and the fourth inning is the beer inning.

Tennis is out of the way, which brings us to Wii Sports: Baseball. That's right: Nintendo decided to bring us The Excitement Sport™. Did they manage to capture all the liveliness of men whacking at balls with wooden and/or metal sticks? Let's take a closer look.

Throughout Wii Sports, your Miis are utilized. Your lead batter is the Mii of your choice, and the rest of your line-up is culled randomly from your ranks (or, if you don't have enough, they'll make some for you). Would you expect Dwight Schrute and Lando Calrissian to work together in perfect harmony? I would go out on a limb and say that you would not! However, Dwight hit a home-run and Lando proved to be a terrific baserunner.

As with Tennis, the controls for baseball are fantastically simple (although a bit more complicated than the mere "swing-at-the-ball" of the aforementioned sport). At the plate, you hold the Wiimote like a bat. I don't think the positioning of your bat matters, but you should probably work on your form anyway. After all, once you get a Wii you won't be going out and playing actual sports for some time to come, so when it comes to exercise, you takes it where you can gets it. When you swing, it's fairly straightforward.

Once again, I'm not sure if follow-through or direction of your cut matters. I've been swinging upward and downward with unexpected results. Instead, I believe it all has to do with timing. Wait too long and the ball will go right. Swing too early and it will go left. I don't believe placement hitting matters, as your baserunners are placed depending on distance of the hit and fielder error. Hitting is slightly difficult--more difficult than smacking the ball in Wii tennis, at any rate. I may need to spend a little more time with the game, but the timing needs to be precise.

When the sides retire, it's simple as well. Just a downward swing of your arm and you pitch the ball. If you want to throw it faster, swing your arm faster. However, this is the first instance in Wii Sports that involves buttons--and rightfully so, otherwise pitching would become an even-more-boring venture. I say even-more-boring because there's still not a lot to it. You can throw curveballs, screwballs, and splitters depending on your use of two buttons. You can also use the directional pad to throw the ball inside or outside. I've found no discernible way to hit the batter, unfortunately.

Fielding is nonexistant, controlled entirely by the computer. It certainly would give the pitcher something better to do as they anxiously await their turn at the bat. It's this disparity that really kills Baseball for me. You're entertained for about half the time and bored for the other half.

Of course, that's a whole lot more entertainment than actually watching a baseball game.

That's tennis?! Oh! Then what's the one where the chicks wail on each other?

With the Nintendo Wii's hardware out of the way, it's time to get cracking on some of the software (the small amount that I have). I guess the logical starting place is Wii Sports, the game that is packed in for free with the system. However, an overarching entry on the entire game would be far too easy. While Sports is essentially a collection of five mini-games (each of which is a showcase to different aspects of the Wii's capabilities), the mini-games are more like mega-games in the sense that each is deep enough to be discussed in full.

So here's where I start: Wii Sports: Tennis. It's the first item mentioned on the menu, and as such it was the first game I played. And what a way to get a player hooked.

The controls are the best place to start, I suppose, when talking about a game on the Wii. There's not a whole lot to it. To serve the ball, you gesture like you're throwing the ball in the air, and then bring your Wiimote back down as if you were hitting said ball. You can swing your racquet forehand if the ball is heading towards the right side of the court. You can swing your racquet backhand if it's on the left. Or, if you're left handed, you can either change your settings or screw yerself. That's all there is to it as far as simple volleying.

After that, it's all about timing. Hit the thing early and the ball will skew to one side of the court (or outside of the court if you're too early). Likewise with swinging late. This is how you control your aim, and eventually how you'll earn points against the other team. After mastering this, it's time to learn how to put spin on the ball. If you twist your wrist just right as you're hitting the ball, you can put all kinds of crazy directionality on that thing. That's how intuitive the control is.

Do the controls work? For the most part, like a dream. It's a simple game to play, and anybody in your family should be able to pick up on it within minutes. However, I'm still not certain how to put spin on the ball. It's not mentioned anywhere in the Training segment of the game, nor in the manual. I've tried hitting the ball in any number of ways, and I continuously fall flat. It's not a big deal for the beginner, but the difficulty ramps up more and more as you become more experienced, and I've hit a brick wall.

The game (and all of the segments of Wii Sports) allows you to use Miis (avatars) of your own creation. Do you want to play tennis as yourself? As Martina Navratilova? As Chewbacca? You can do it. Everybody controlled by the player is represented by the same avatar. When you're playing single-player (you sad, lonely sack), you control both players on your doubles team. It's not a huge problem, but it seems sort of graphically silly to see both identical players make all the same swings simultaneously.

There are some gameplay elements that are sacrificed in order to make this game playable by anyone. The character runs to the ball every time (unless you can't make it). You're only responsible for swinging the racquet. It would have been fairly easy to allow some basic level of control (either with the directional pad on the Wiimote or with the control stick on the Nunchuck attachment). It would have increased the difficulty, but made for a more intuitive game in the end and probably a better showcase for the Wii's abilities.

Still, in spite of its shortcomings, Tennis is the mini-game I come back to the most. It's difficult--but not because of the game design, which, for what it is, is nearly flawless. It's a hell of a lot of fun. I've been unable to procure an extra Wiimote, so I've been flying solo. With two (or four) players, this could make for a hell of a good time.

Wii Wii Wii all the way home

The Nintendo Wii is my reason for living and may well be my reason for dying.

I braved the cold of early January in a line outside of my local Circuit City in order to pick up one of these things. I figured, why not invite a little joy into my life when I'm surrounded by soul-sucking social work classes during the week. I am not a social person. My idea of volunteering is carrying boxes, preferably under the influence of my iPod all the while. Talking to people--whether it be children, the elderly, you name it: that's not my scene. And I'm not being elitist or discriminatory. I don't like talking to people my age either. I like quiet.

Anyway, I was talking about the Wii. In addition to the system, I attained two games. However, they'll be receiving separate reviews in the near future. Right now, I'm talkin' hardware, and I'm talkin' built-in software.

The first thing that struck me about the Wii is its size--or, more to the point, its lack thereof. Imagine one of those thick TV-on-DVD box sets, such as 24 or Alias. Now make it a little taller. That's the size of the Wii. The thing is tiny. How is this accomplished? Well, graphically, the system isn't all that much better than a GameCube. As opposed to the graphics/physics improvements of the other Next Generation systems, the true revolution of this system is in the gameplay. What makes it so special?

The controller. This was my biggest sticking point with the system. Every time I looked at a system with a slightly more innovative or intuitive style--the Nintendo DS being the other that jumps immediately to mind--I'm turned off. What happens if I spend three hundred dollars, only to find that I'm too daft or uncoordinated to use it? That's a little more than a drop in the bucket for the Poor College Student. The Wii Remote (popularly known as the Wiimote) is a wireless "wand" that functions onscreen more like a computer mouse than a regular gaming controller.

At first it didn't really work for me. Naturally, my hand wanted to hold the Wiimote in an upright position, pointed at the ceiling instead of the screen. The good news is, this typically won't affect the games on the system; it will only screw with the menu navigation. Otherwise, you can hold your Wiimote any way you damn well please. Which is good, because I still can't stop myself from holding it upright.

Assuming you have a means of doing it (high speed cable and some sort of wireless hook-up), your Wii will always be connected to the Intertnet--even when it's not on. This allows for you to constantly receive messages from other users and from Nintendo. When you get a new message, your Wii will glow blue, which is especially handy on those days when you don't plan on playing, but when your buddy had something to tell you.

The Wii holds its own sort of media center. Besides gameplay (of which you can play both Wii and GameCube discs), there are a number of "channels" that include special, built-in features. The Mii Channel allows you to create your own avatars which can both be used in games and sent to friends. I made my entire family, and then I went on to make the cast of the original Star Wars trilogy (Chewbacca for the win!), Elliott Smith, and a few characters from Heroes and The Office. I'd show you, but I don't have a good camera and I'm not sure there's a better way yet.

There is a Picture Channel as well, which has a similar function: you can upload and design your own pictures, and you can send them to friends. I don't have a memory card (which costs a hell of a lot), so I haven't used this feature. I probably won't, either, because I don't deal with pictures. My iPod Photo is photo free, for instance.

The Wii Store is a real treat--it's the place you can buy old games from other systems. I haven't picked anything up yet, but I'm specifically interested in Super Mario 64, Mario Kart 64, and the hopeful future releases of Goldeneye and the NES Maniac Mansion. You can play these in a number of ways, including GameCube controllers (so don't trash those just yet).

The Weather Channel is just that. If you're too lazy to look out the window, you can flick on your Wii and see what it's like outside. The News Channel is (also) just that, although slightly more useful. While I don't use these particular channels much, their existence proves hopeful for other future additions that could be better for me.

Finally, the Opera Web Browser is available (and is currently free in the Wii Store, although not for long). When you browse the Internet on your Wii, it's awkward. Really awkward. The text is usually too small to read. The only use I've gotten out of it was browsing YouTube, playing the videos on my TV as opposed to my small computer monitor. Some websites are making Wii-compatible versions, but the browser is kind of wasted at this point.

You can make friends from Wii to Wii (assuming you know anybody else that managed to find one). It's a little difficult to do (everybody has a sixteen-digit number as opposed to a user name, and you both need to add one another to be friends). Still, you can send messages, pictures, and Miis to one another once you're buddies.

The navigation and features leave a little something to be desired, but the potential is great. As such, one must look at the gameplay potential (and the games themselves) to make a final decision relating to the system. And I'll do just that...in a shortly.

Tell me, small fry, have you ever heard of the fabled set of triumph forks?

On November 19, Nintendo released their brand new system, the Wii, and, conceptually, the best launch title since Super Mario 64 a decade ago: Legend of Zelda: The Twilight Princess. Only one problem: I'm a poor college student that doesn't have $300 to spend on a new system and a video game. And even if I did have that kind of scratch, I wouldn't have been able to pony it up because of the relative rarity of the Wii.

So it was time to improvise. I made a promise to myself that after I finished my NaNoWriMo and my eighteen pages worth of papers for classes, I would complete the only Zelda console game I had never beaten: The Wind Waker.

I bought the game when it first came out. It was the sole reason I bought a GameCube, and I figured it would be worth every dollar spent. I got a good amount of play in the game, finishing all of the temples and most of the side-quests. However, even with the help of a strategy guide, I became frustrated and quit.

Why would I quit a new game in one of my favorite video game series, especially when I was only one castle away from finishing it off? Because of the sailing. Wind Waker is unique in the Zelda world in that the vast majority of gameplay time is spent traveling from place to place. You team up with a talking boat called The King of Red Lions (WTF?) and sail to something like fifty islands. Not all of the islands have particular relevance, but one feels compelled to map them and search for secrets on each one.

So, years ago, I quit playing when I was told that I had to search for seven Triforce maps. And then seven fragments of said jewel. That's a lot of sailing when it takes three to five minutes of travel time per sector. Still, I was jealous of those Wiiners, and I had to have my taste of the glory.

I came back to the game with three years of life experience (and gaming experience) under my belt. Also, I came back to the game with significantly more free time, as I've become something of a hermit in my college career. I started a new game as "Link" (how inventive), and began the journey anew.

This was a unique Zelda experience for me. Never once have I beaten one of the games by my lonesome (without the help of strategy guides or online cheats), and I planned to attempt this feat with my Wind Waker experience. It turns out that I failed, as I needed assistance with finding one of the Triforce Maps. Still, it was surprisingly easier than I thought it would be. It turns out that I had been using strategy guides as a crutch, and that the game is an infinitely more rewarding experience when you fly solo. As a result, the game and travel time seemed infinitely less tedious this time around. Instead of sailing from island to island with a direct aim--"the book says I have to do this next"--I felt free to explore as I was on my way. Maybe it was because I'd played much of the game before, but I never felt stressed out about the puzzles. Only challenged. And I loved it. The sailing is still a bit of a pain, but it's eased midway through the game by the acquisition of a Warp Melody.

I remember when Wind Waker was announced, the fan base collectively rolled its eyes. The two previous 3D versions of Zelda (Ocarina of Time and Majora's Mask) had graphics that dabbled in realism. The GameCube tentpole went in entirely the opposite direction, animating Link in cell-shading not dissimilar to a cartoon. The fans figured that they would be getting a more child-friendly game. I don't think this was the case. The graphics are a beautiful departure from the N64-styled graphics of Wind Waker's predecessors. Once you become enveloped in the story, it becomes just as good as the classic titles from the past. In fact, if it weren't for the tedium of sailing around the map, I would consider this game as good as (if not better than) the Nintendo 64 games.

One other problem that I have with the game is the length of it. I spent massive amounts of time just sailing around the world, attempting to discover the secrets of the land or just to get from place to place. Still, I get the feeling that it would take me longer to beat Ocarina of Time, a game in which exploration is not as encouraged. If you were to ignore all of the whimsy and all of the side-quests, one could probably beat the story portion of this game in fifteen to twenty hours. That may seem like a long time, but it's really not when you spread it over a number of days. Between classes, readings, and work, I was still able to complete a detailed exploration of the game within one week. It's good to see that the new Wii version of the game seems to make up for this: reports show that twenty hours of gameplay is a drop in the bucket. You probably won't be able to make it to the third temple in that amount of time.

All in all, you can't go wrong with Wind Waker at its current price of $20. It's not worth the price of a GameCube--especially now that the backwards-compatible Wii is released. Instead, track down a Wii and pick up this game as an afterthought. It's absolutely worth playing.