While you're all busy attempting to start your respective work weeks off without slitting your wrists, I've got the day off to prepare for a backpacking trip. Sucks to be you. Here's some randomness.
- Mondays just aren't the same without new episodes of "24," so here is a little something to tide you over. Jack Bauer and the late Tony Almeida are going through the drive-through for burgers and shakes...BUT THEY'RE RUNNING OUT OF TIME. The mediocre Bauer impression is rescued by the dead-on version of Almeida. And click here for some more madcap "24"-ish-ness.
- In what surely must have been a decided counterpoint to last Wednesday's "The Language of Vince Vaughn" link, Cracked has a guide to properly using movie quotes (Although really, they should never be used. Ever. Be funny on your own, thank you. Click here for my manifesto on movie quotes). Oh yeah...anyway...the Cracked article.
- Well-known movies always seem to creep their way into conversations. You're probably willing to let it slide the 70th time your mom says “Alrighty then!” She’s old and small, and doesn't know any better. That fucktard office comedian from the Marketing department, on the other hand, is a completely different story.
- Something Awful has a guide to your job at GameStop, in efforts to guide you in your GameStop duty to screw the customers.
- If a customer refuses to buy an opened game and instead asks you for a copy still in its original factory seal, calmly explain to them that the game they are purchasing has been “gutted” so filthy cretins much like themselves won't be tempted to open the casing and steal the product they claim to have the money for. If belligerency continues, inform the customer that they would be welcome to shop at Wal-Mart or a larger chain store, but that these stores do not carry the titles they seek such as Rape Rape Rape Middle School 4: Innocence Lost. Then run a rusty paper clip (included in your training packet) up and down the disc while massaging your genitalia through your clothes. They’ll get the picture.
June 5, 2006
May 29, 2006
May 22, 2006
May 15, 2006
May 8, 2006
May 1, 2006
April 24, 2006
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