The Monday Grind

Grind your coffee; grind your teeth; grind your gears; grind your skateboard.

Grind your Monday.

I don't know what I'm talking about. Look! Links to things!

• Matt updated X-Entertainment with his first of three articles about Walt Disney World. I love Walt Disney World. You love Walt Disney World. EVERYONE loves Walt Disney world. Except for some Nazis and a few practitioners of modern dance.
  
  
• Among my vague recollections of Walt Disney World is the memory of Mickey Mouse head-shaped balloons, but they weren't fancy schmancy balloons -- they were just regular, everyday balloons that just happened to look like Mickey Mouse's head. When we first arrived in the Magic Kingdom, I saw dozens of Mickey head balloons. Like, foil ones and kinds that were actually three balloons stuck together, and other ones that lit up and spoke aloud. I wondered if the Mickey balloons I loved were left in the past. And then I cried and blamed it on WHY YOU ALWAYS CUTTIN THOSE ONIONS YOU KNOW WHAT CUTTIN THOSE ONIONS DOES TO ME.
  
  
• Cracked posted the second half of their Summer Movie Preview. Preview Summer Movies of the future...TODAY!
  
  
• Much like Asian women, Asian horror movies are just better than ours. Why we continue to add insult to injury by continually insisting on remaking their superior horror movies into crappy I Know What You Did Last Summer knockoffs with tousled-haired jeans models pretending to act is proof why we’re maybe a little too globalized for our own good.
  
  
• Something Awful knows: When movie titles are misspelled, only hilarity can ensue!
  
  
• Review the World knows: When Beer-Battered Chicken come wrapped in cellophane, only disgustingness can ensue!
  
  
• But not only did I decide to be risqué and lose my Hungry-Man virginity (not unlike the night in the backseat of that Toyota in ’96), I also took it decidedly one step further, venturing into their relatively new Sports Grill sub-category. How’s that for balls? Now, in the comfort of your own home, you can eat your favorite bar and grill favorites. This should especially make your wife happy, since you won’t come home smelling like smoke after ogling obtuse breasts, but spend more time at home with the kids and the new toy she bought for Father’s Day.

And that's not all! There's a Special Edition installment of The Monday Grind following very shortly, reveling in the glory of Progressive Boink. For now, here's a buttload of other Monday Grinds full of links to a buttload of other things that don't suck.

May 29, 2006
May 22, 2006
May 15, 2006
May 8, 2006
May 1, 2006
April 24, 2006