I lost my shirt in Atlantic City!

So why am I so damn excited about it? Because it's time for a little Monday linkdump!

1. Matt at X-Entertainment posted up an article about his childhood memories walking down the boardwalk at Atlantic City. I've said it before--the guy could write about paint drying on a log and make it interesting, and this article is yet another testament to his skills as a writer and my skills as a suck-up.
   
   
   • You must remember one thing: Atlantic City isn't just a visitor's town. People live there. Poor people. People who buy bags of Ralph's Chez Bawls on the boardwalk to eat, and not just because there's a wacky picture of a cowboy roping a hunk of cheddar on the package. Within this, the stores are stuffed not only with tourist bric-a-brac (fuzzy dice and playing cards), but with everyday items for the city's citizens (Rocky & Bullwinkle brand douche and Afro-Nova Hair Defrizzy Fo' Shizzy).
     
     
2. Mystie at Crown Combo has posted an article about what may have been the greatest cookies in the world: Keebler Magic Middles (also known as THOSE AWESOEMMM COOKIES THAT HAD TONS OF CHOCOLATE ICING BAKED INTO THE FREAKING MIDDLE!!!1...well, known that way to me at least).
   
   
   • Maybe the magic wore out. Maybe the fudge wells ran dry. Keebler was the sole producer of any cookie like this, and no one has attempted to take over the reigns. I will forever long the sandy tickle of cookie crumbs as my hands dip into a fresh box of Mini Middles. Ne'er shall I split a cookie apart and find a chocolate surprise inside. My only chance is that someone has the balls to figure out how to remake them. Could that someone.... be me
     
     
3. Finally, I-Mockery has a review of the McDonald's McFlurry Maker. I remember the simple days when there was only the Snoopy Sno-Cone maker, and everybody walked to school thirteen miles in the snow going uphill both ways fighting zombies and serial rapists with their gatling guns and then the terrorists came and threw water baloons so they had to retaliate and so they all had a dance contest. Those simple days have passed, and so the good lord Hephestus has seen fit to unleash a horde of do-it-yourself food kits, ranging from cotton candy to macaroni and cheese, from Slurpees to Marshmallow Peeps (amen). Anyway, click on through to read about the goodness.
   
   
   • Now it was time to make the ice cry like a slug by pouring salt all over it. This supposedly makes it easier to turn the crank handle, but I think they had us pour salt on the ice so that the roads would be clear by morning and then we'd all have to go to school instead of getting another snow day where we could all go sledding down the hill and laugh with glee and not let little Ricky join in the fun because he smells kinda funny and he stole my juice box the other week anyway and even when I told on him in class the teacher gave ME detention and he got off scot free! Well look who's laughing now Ricky, you sledless little fuck! LOOK WHO'S LAUGHING NOW!!! AHAHAHAHAAAAAAAA!

Look who's laughing now indeed! I hope these articles will get you over that nasty Monday hump--the sore spot that makes you want to die, located between your Lucky Charms breakfast and your latest "24"-induced drinking binge.