Welcome to Hell on Earth

It's nearing that most fateful day: June 6, 2006--better known to idiots as "6-6-6", despite the fact that there is an additional zero in there. It's the sign of the devil, and there are festivities to be festivitized (I made that word up).

The obvious tie-in to the devil's day is a shitty remake of a classic horror movie, and the fine folks at 20th Century Fox want us to know that, unlike their last ninety horror movies, The Omen will actually be scary. They'll be wrong of course, but OMG 666 ROFLMAO WOOT!

If you're looking for something a little more deafening, then the National Day of Slayer will probably be more to your liking. With songs such as "Necrophiliac," "The Antichrist," and "In the Name of God" (wait), you're guaranteed a dandy, satanic time!

BUT, if you're the kind of dude or dudette who enjoys novelty can coolees, look no further than Hell, Michigan.

• "I've got `666' T-shirts and mugs. I'm only ordering 666 (of the items) so once they're gone, that's it," said Colone, also known as Odum Plenty. "Everyone who comes will get a letter of authenticity saying you've celebrated June 6, 2006, in Hell." Live entertainment and a costume contest are planned. The Gates of Hell should be installed at a children's play area in time for the festivities.

Sounds exciting, but putting Hell in Michigan is kind of like putting water in H2O, isn't it?

Anyway, hope your Hell Day is as exciting as you wish to make it. It only comes once every thousand years (like the millennium, except more Satany!)