The Monday Grind: Bonus Edition

You've already been Grinded and Grounded by an early edition of The Monday Grind this morning, but these articles deserved a seperate post.

Progressive Boink is ending its impressive run of three-article weeks. That's not to say that they're closing down, but that they'll be taking things more slowly in the future. They closed off their weekly updates with three of their best articles yet.

Two of the articles are personal essays--rivaling the quality of David Sedaris' best works--detailing moments or revelations in the authors' lives. The first is about the death of a grandmother, and the second is about a father and his stories. I won't post bits here, because they won't do the stories justice.

The final article of the week is about the thing I hate most in the world--the very harbinger of the end of mankind as we know it. American Idol.

Outside of a few "audition episodes," I've never watched the show. And yet, the article, for whatever reason, is one of the funniest things I've read in a long time. Especially great are the Haikus describing each singer...

• Boy band charisma.
  Seemed like the total package.
  Crest Advanced White Strips.

...and the description of Prince's appearance...

• BUT WAIT THE STAGE OPENS UP AND THE MOTHERSHIP KNOWN AS MOTHERFUCKING PRINCE WALKS OUT LIKE AN EGYPTIAN TO ENTERTAIN HIS PEOPLES. I have decided after a deep scientific study that Prince is the coolest motherfucker on the entire planet.

There's more, of course. But don't be lazy: go to the site.

P-Boink, I give you the twenty-one-ketchup-packet salute. Thanks for the laughs and whatnot.

June 5, 2006 (Regular Edition)
May 29, 2006
May 22, 2006
May 15, 2006
May 8, 2006
May 1, 2006
April 24, 2006