Sunday, June 18, 2006

Flibbity Flabbity News News News

Happy Fathers' Day, sluts and mansluts.
  • Girl Scouts are starting a new program to spend time with their fathers...that are imprisoned for drug offenses. I was going to make some sort of sick prison masturbation joke here, but really it would be less funny than this actual line from one of the imprisoned drug-dealer fathers: "I like the sewing part. I look forward to it." Oh, sweet jesus. (Yahoo!)

  • In a jarring U-Turn from their recent near-brush with a "Rah Rah Recreational Drugs!" law that was about to make Spring Breaks a whole lot more fun, Mexico is attempting to squash the illicit drug rings in its cities. (Yahoo!)

  • "Saved By The Bell"'s very own Samuel "Screech" Powers is about to lose his house, but you can help him by buying a misspelled t-shirt. Meanwhile, Lisa Turtle is probably dead somewhere. (Yahoo!)

  • Okay, so bears are no longer a problem, seeing as how the common house cat can royally fuck them up. Think you're safe? You're not. Deer are going to break into your house and rape you. (ABC)

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