Big, fat news for big, fat people

• Musician Ricky Skaggs' tour bus killed a man in Tennessee. The bus was held for questioning, but no charges were pressed. (Yahoo!)
  
  
• Britney Spears may be birthing her second child in Namibia, a'la Brangelina. Americans get so snippy when you feed your baby rat poison and let it sleep in the blender. Get it? Because she's a horrible mother?
  
  
• A Texas high school art teacher is probably getting fired for having "artistic" nude pictures on the Internet. If it were truly art, it would be okay; the art in double-penetration is debatable.
  
  
• A warrant is out for Boy George's arrest! This one practically writes itself. Go ahead and write your own joke about how the courts "really want to hurt him," or the fact that "Karma" is finally biting this "Chameleon" in the ass. DO IT NOW!