Busting the Hump

I know you're still recovering from the heartbreaking finales of Alias and 24 on Monday (rest in peace, Jack Bristow, Thomas Grace, and Jack Bauer maybe; rest in pieces, Arvin Sloane), but it's time to start thinking about rolling over the speed-bump of the week and watching the heartbreaking finale of Lost (or the boring finale of American Idol, if you are silly). Hopefully these links will be the fuel that gets you over the hump.

• TVGasm has posted a list of the Top 20 TV-deaths of the season. While it is now woefully outdated (play a requiem for Jack Bristow), I agree with a bunch. Edgar Stiles, we hardly knew ye.
  
  
• i-Mockery has a bit of advice for the Kevin Federlines of our world: Tips for the Modern Dad.
  
  
• Back in your Dad's day it was a lot easier to take no guff, especially after he went out for cigarettes right before your eighth birthday party and never returned. Today's society demands a lot more of Fathers, so it's best to make it known your 'bullshit meter' is always 'on' right away. I recommend sternly advising your newborn to 'button that lip!' the instant their head breeches the birth canal.
  
  
• Retrocrush proves once and for all that Al Gore would have been a better president than Double-You in their exclusive interview.
  
  
• [In reference to his Futurama cameo:] Last summer...I was walking down with my business associates down to the Paragon restaurant, and this group of young people, in their I’d say late 20s were coming in the opposite direction, and they get about 20 feet away, and they don’t say, 'Hey! There’s the former Vice President of The United States, or something like that, instead, one of them throws both arms up in the air says, 'I HAVE RIDDEN THE MIGHTY MOON WORM!' (laughs) and my associates are like, 'Uhhhh', and I’m all 'Right on, man!'
  
  
• Meanwhile, the P-Boinkers envision a life where they have to forget everything they know and start anew.

• “And if the burn victim is convulsing it most likely is a sign that their oxygen levels are low. You should bag them for twenty seconds or until the convulsions recede. Should the victim become unresponsive use the defibrillators appropriately.”

  “Very impressive, Mr. Dallamora. How long have you been a paramedic.”

  “Oh I'm no paramedic I just like to mess around with half-dead bodies, but I did stay at a Holiday Day Inn Express last night.”

• Wednesday means Wednesday One-Liners at Overheard in New York, where, interestingly enough, things in New York are overheard.
  
  
• Pregnant woman to 3-year-old son: Do you remember what happened last time you licked the subway? That's right. You threw up.

Honestly though...Hump away.

May 17, 2006
May 10, 2006
May 3, 2006
April 26, 2006