Sunday, September 23, 2007

More random thoughts, including Intertnet Datting Update


  • "It's Friday" has apparently become an acceptable answer for "How are you doing?" I may have to steal it and use it all week long.

  • My favorite smell is sawdust. My favorite sound is from the movie Spaceballs. There is a part where a guy yells "SON OF A" and then cocks his laser-gun, which makes a noise, and for some reason that combination strikes me as soothing.

  • Shoot Em Up may be the finest motion picture ever made. It is like a film version of those bad Internet Chuck Norris jokes. Chuck Norris delivers babies by shooting through the umbilical cord with a machine gun! Chuck Norris can shoot people with his bare hands. Chuck Norris could stop having sex to fight some bad guys, but he'd rather do both at once! The film has an added benefit of not having stupid Chuck Norris in it at all!

  • I have nicknamed my willy "The Jumper Cable"--for many reasons, all of them quite obvious.

  • I work for the Social Security Administration. We are required to sign forms that say we will never look up celebrities' personal information. But now what am I supposed to do if I want to know whether or not Vincent Price had gout?

  • Internet Dating Week One: I have received one interested response to my sexiness. I have responded back. WILL THIS BE A MATCH (DOT COM)? Probably not, because it's at OKCupid. I also signed up for another site--eHarmony--which requires some payment to contact people. I'm undecided. I could pay for a month, because people who pay are probably more serious about it. At the same time, that's money I could spend on something else, like a guaranteed match with a prostitute.

7 comments:

Theresa said...

I'm sorry you can't look up celebrity ailments at your job. What's the point in even going to work? And I think eharmony will treat you well, I'm very handy with things like this.

Belinda said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Chris Seibert said...

Allow me to tell you a few things:

1) I enjoy the smell of sawdust as well. I actually wrote a short love/drama called "Sawdust" once. That, along with pretty much everything else I have ever written, is gone forever, along with my computer.

2)I know the sound you speak of in Spaceballs. I can only hope they put that in the Spaceballs cartoon.

3)I wish you luck on internet dating. I will tell you this: women are crazy. Unfortunately, I've yet to meet a crazy woman who is crazy in a possitive way, i.e. likes to boink while I play video games... and also enjoys the word "boink". Let me know how internet dating works, however, because I've often thought of trying that. It's definitely a plus because it's really the only way to meet people who have the same interests as you... and you don't have to waste your time weeding through those who don't. Also, it's really the only one can meet someone that isn't a) a bar and b) a free clinic. And let me tell you, you won't find class in either place.

Also, give me a call sometime soon. I really have no time, what with school and work... and having to do all my school work on weekends, but give me a ringy dingy anyway and I'll make sure to make time!!!

Jackie-O said...

* I have not tried internet dating. This is probably because I happen to be married, too bad for me.

* Was the response on OKCupid from a woman?

* I know something you will never be allowed to find out. It's about Bill Murray. Quick! Look here: http://www.funnyordie.com/videos/eae26bb96d

Baron Von TrundleBed said...

Isn't Vincent Price dead?

I remember him from an older Simpsons episode.

I have a blogspot blog now: The Magical Monkeyshines of Baron Von TrundleBed

bvtb.blogspot.com

Are you free anytime Thursday or Friday? Because of my class schedule, that's sort of my weekend, but I will probably have some time over the weekend as well.

Episode One said...

ok inspire me a little this week and consider it done....:)

Matt said...

You'll have to tell me how that prostitute thing works out.