What a festive season. Someday you'll be dead.

December 12

Kanga's proud as she can be. Roo's wrapped his presents perfectly.

Trey Parker: Dead Dead Dead
Eric Cartman: Swiss Colony Beef Log

I really could have put the entire South Park holiday album, "Mr. Hankey's Christmas Classics," up for download without regrets--every track on the disc is pure gold. There are classic revisions of South Park's classic moments--Kyle singing about being a Jew on Christmas, or Cartman crooning "O Holy Night" (It is the night with the Christmas trees and pie!)--but these are by far my favorites.

"Dead Dead Dead" is a depressing song at first glance. As indicated by the title, the word "dead" is repeated in almost every line. "There's nothing you can do to stop it." "It could happen in a couple months or fifty years from now." Every up comes with a soul-crushing down, but that's how life is. In the end, whether Parker intends for it or not, the song delivers a message of enjoying the holiday season while you still can.

I can't get any deeper meaning out of "Swiss Colony Beef Log." Cartman really wants a beef log, and he sings a Springsteen-esque rocker about it. Enjoy.

See also: the "Christmas Classics" episode of South Park, which includes a tear-inducing farewell to
voice actress Mary Kay Bergman, who had killed herself shortly after recording the album.