Tuesday, September 12, 2006

Trailer Trash in...The Tuesday Grind

Yeah, I got an assload of old-timey links for your perusal. And I also got your usual dose of Trailers from around the movie world.

First, check out my new page: Spoodles'ss List (the extra S is for Spoodles). In the grand new online tradition, I've listed 101 goals that I will accomplish in the next 1001 days. That site will be an exploration of each goal as I accomplish it. So, if you would like to learn a little more about Spoodles (and who wouldn't), you'll get to follow my progress over the next 2 3/4 years as I sky dive, play Hide and Seek inside of Wal Mart, and read some books.

And now, on with the countdown.

  • X-Entertainment updated with its second day of Halloween goodness, and it's a doozy: Jones Halloween Soda!

    • The mini-cans are back, and joining "Candy Corn" from last year's batch are three new flavors, or maybe that's one new flavor and two repeats given new names. Jury's still out. Less debatably amazing are the three new bottled flavors, marking what's probably the first time Jones Soda has ever rewarded Halloween with its own swank glass bottle editions. Considering the flavors, one can assume that the cans are meant for kids, and the bottles -- with flavors easy to consider as mixers -- for adults. Fortunately for me, I am both of these things.

  • PROGRESSIVE BOINK RETURNS WITH WEEKLY UPDATES! Ahem...Update one of LAST week was the top twenty gayest wrestling tag-teams. I consider the quality of writing to be very good when somebody takes something I know nothing about (wrestling) and engrosses me throughout.

    • This entry is an unofficial nod for everyone who made the conscious decision to wrestle in leather pants instead of proper ring attire. Yeah, okay, so it doesn't make sense for Kane, a burn-victim who lived in a basement and couldn't speak for years, to show up in red flame tights and a hand-crafted mask, but come on, I can't look at a guy in leather pants and call him an athlete. I can barely look at a guy in leather pants. I don't want a SHIRTLESS guy in leather pants and a studded belt to do the whole roll-around-in-underwear pretend fight thing. That just makes the whole operation that much closer to apartment wrestling. And I wasn't completely comfortable with those old ads for apartment wrestling!

  • Progressive Boink again, ahoy! Mike Fireball learns a little something-something about spirituality in a bad video game.|

    • It wasn't until I actually reached the park that I realized that what I thought was asphalt was, in reality, a solid, black void to hide the fact that my sprite was poorly constructed. You see, though we are created in God's image (Genesis 1 or 2:something), He is limited to using only three colors and transparency to create each of us. So my Jack white pants were red to match my hair, which I recently dyed, my only clean shirt had to match the whites of my eyes, and it turns out I was wearing skin-colored shoes the whole time. With no colors left to work with, the Lord chose to make my eyes, mouth and armpits see-through. Which was fine as long as I stayed on the street. It was not until I walked on the grass that I realized the limitations of this 8-bit planet on which we live.

  • Just when you think Progressive Boink couldn't get any more Progressiver or Boinker, they post a third article, this time on Flavor of Love.

    • More so than any series, Flavor of Love demonstrates best why there is such hyperbole when it comes to reality series. Every moment that happens is "THE MOST EXTREME LJGODSIBSDO EVER!" Or "THAT GIRL IS THE BIGGEST BITCH EVER!" Ever is a popular word in this situation. The thing to remember about any reality series is that it's only good when you're watching it in that moment. As soon as the series wraps, everyone stops caring. If you don't believe me, try to think and see if you can remember the full cast from the beginning of a series, especially one where people are eliminated. I bet you can't.

  • iMockery reviews all of the costumes dedicated to your favorite horror movie villains!

    • There are a lot of great iconic modern horror movie monsters that almost everyone can recognize on sight, even if they've never seen a single horror movie in their lives. So naturally, you're going to get more of a reaction by dressing as a familiar character rather than "Random Gothy Guy Who is Supposed to be 'Lord of Darkness' But Actually Looks Like an Angsty High Schooler Who Listens to Nothing But Depeche Mode and Cries a Lot" or "Generic Vampire Slut".

  • Candy Addict brings a video of how Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory should have ended!
  • The brand new trailer to James Bond, which is a reinvention of the franchise yet still includes Dame Judi Dench as "M!" Confusing!

  • Dead or Alive: the movie based on the video game based on the boobs.

  • Flags of Our Fathers: Clint Eastwood's newest, a World War II film. It's been a while since the last good war movie.
Now go make your own 1001 Days list. And eat a weiner.

No comments: