The Monday Grind: July 3, 2006 Edition

The downside of "Superman Returns" is that it is long, and that means I've been working until about one every morning. "Pirates 2" is the same. This makes my Monday a lot more Grinding than usual, so these are some links to help ME for once.

Quit being so selfish.

Whore.

• Mystie at CrownCombo has taken a break from enjoying her summer to post an article: the Top Ten Girl Games Countdown (and if Bubble Bobble is a girl game, it's time for me to grow a va-jay-jay).
  
  
• The game revolves around two cutetastic little dinos named Bob and Bub that belch bubbles to defeat their enemies. It might not be flamingly pink, but it's chock full of strawberries, ice cream, cute little animals, and -- of course -- bubbles! I'm not even going to get into the sequel, Rainbow Island, because that game is best viewed completely smashed with ecstasy.
  
  
• Stupendous Man is a pretty lame superhero. So, of course, Cracked has created a comic based on their creation.
  
  
• Superman Toys! i-Mockery! Fun!
  
  
• With 33 points of articulation for "super poseability," this is sure to be a favorite amongst Superman fans and action figure collectors alike. Of course, it looks like he's had a few ribs removed in order to make his chest more moveable. But I can That's my toy buying kyrptonite right there.overlook that. What I can't overlook is how they didn't learn their lesson from all the controversy that Superman's package generated when people first got a glimpse of the start of the new movie. If they really learned their lesson then why does this toy have such an accentuated crotch? I wonder if his super-schlong is actually one of the 33 points of articulation?
  
  
• They've done the lamest super-powers, and now Cracked takes a look at the COOLEST.
  
  
• Before you start thinking about zipping around the sky, being confused with birds and planes, keep in mind we’re evaluating each power on its own merits, so this is flight without the whole faster than a speeding bullet thing. Minus super speed, flight really only bestows the ability to float through air at the speed an average man moves: twelve MPH. Seven, really, if you don’t want to get winded. Sure, you’d probably find gainful employment taking aerial photographs at golf tournaments but that’s about it.
  
  
• Review the World TV debuts! And it's bitchin'. Enjoy.
  
  
• I Am My Own Damn Blog writes about why they are not going to be the best parents.
  
  
• I care too much about money: This is one drawback, but not for the reasons you might think. I'm sure you're thinking I mean that I don't care about my job or what happens to the kids, so long as I get paid. No no no, you give me too little credit. I plan to actively sell these kids. To the zoo. For meat.
  
  
• i-Mockery's GeneralZod.net has a video message about Superman: he's a pussy.

I hope this message finds you healthy, wealthy, and wise.