Monday, July 10, 2006

The Monday Grind: July 10, 2006 edition

I am feeling the burn of another work week. And by work, I mean I'll be seeing that Pirate movie this morning and spending the rest of the night in a rocking chair listening to a phonograph. Here's some funky-fresh links from across the WWW.
  • Cracked has some "Yo Momma" jokes that were just too edgy for MTV's audience.

    • "Yo momma shops so much, she should really get one of those Discover cards that pays you back a small percentage of every purchase you make.”

  • The author of The Jay is celebrating his 25th birthday, and he has 25 birthday wishes for the world.

    • I wish that Spielberg, Ford and Lucas would decide NOT to make Indiana Jones 4. Indy rode off into the sunset after finding the Holy freaking Grail. How do you top that? Ford is pushing 65; do they really expect us to suspend our disbelief that this AARP member is still believable whipping Nazi’s and running from boulders and bad blonde actresses? Let it go, guys. Let it go…

  • Something Awful brings you the soothing natural sounds of CRAZY THINGS!

  • I Am My Own Damn Blog wants to talk to you for a little bit about dangerous sports mascots.

    • The Saluki is going to teach our kids how to become cross-dressing trannies, or worse, metrosexuals. Look at the tweezed eyebrows and hair full of "product." Next comes gay marriage, then comes the rapture, and finally comes Nazis riding on dinosaurs.

  • Lost your job? Cracked knows where you should go to hang out.

    • Do you think the Wong family is gonna let all that delicious Moo goo gai pan go to waste by selling it at discount prices by the end of the day? No way! They’re going to toss it in the trash out back. This is where you step in. With an empty tray you fought off another bum with your knife.

  • i-Mockery moved to Los Angeles, and now they've noticed things! How novel!

    • Can somebody explain this to me? For some reason, whenever I've been driving in tunnels, I've noticed that the people of Los Angeles like to playfully honk their horns at one another. This only happens in tunnels for some reason. You'll just be sitting there in your car and all of a sudden one person will honk their horn and start laughing, which starts a chain reaction of people honking their horns. Sometimes they even mimic each other's honking rhythms. If only everybody's horn was at a different pitch, we inhabitants of Los Angeles could perform some rockin' car horn tunes any time we enter a tunnel.
Uh....have a good day, Scrotes.

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