Sunday, July 23, 2006

The Daily Chronicle: Sunday, July 23, 2006

Good to be back. I crashed into a tree on my bicycle, so if it's possible, my posts will be even less lucid than before. Enjoy the content.

P.S. I was going to do a huge "week-in-review," but I looked at all that news and my head nearly exploded.
  • Saddam Hussein has been hospitalized for "starving himself during a hunger strike." Or, as Americans like to call it, "saving us the trouble."

  • "Coming Soon: A Shaq-sized plasma TV." No word on yet whether the television will star in Kazaam.

  • A woman filed a restraining order against John Cusack last week. However, you know he'll win her over in the end by holding a boombox over his head.

  • Tina Fey is leaving her job at Saturday Night Live. Currently looking for another job being attractively unattractive.

  • A bottle of Tequila was sold for $225 million this week. The buyer? One Mr. Jose Cuervo.

  • Astronomers caught sight of an exploding star the other day. What kind of star? A Death Star.
Yub Nub.

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