Just because a man can run does not mean he's retarded

A four year old boy ran forty miles in one spree this week, causing CNN to write the following headline:

4-year-old 'Forrest Gump' runs 40 miles

I'm sure there could have been SOMEBODY better than a fictional retarded man to compare to the boy. Perhaps a famous runner? Perhaps perennial bestseller author Steven King? If I were four years old, I would go on Google and find out who Forrest Gump was, and then I would run seventy-six miles to fuck you up.

Other not-so-apt comparisons?

• 8-year old 'President Bush' pleases constituents
• 5-year-old 'Charles Manson' loves kittens
• 2-year-old 'Courtney Love' does something valuable with her life

The above picture was chosen not for its relevance, but because it showed up in a Google search for "Run Forrest Run." He sure does look pretty retarded though.