From the "Where do I get one?" department...

CNN reports about a man who had a device that turned all stoplights in his town green.

• The device, called an Opticon, is similar to what firefighters use to change lights when they respond to emergencies. It emits an infrared pulse that receivers on the traffic lights pick up.

I always dreamed of something like this gadget. Once I get an Opticon, I'm merely a Homework Machine and a Robot Wife away from my ideal life.