Monday, October 02, 2006

Friday the 13th Part VII: The New Blood

Friday the 13th Part VII: The New Blood was supremely disappointing after the relative return to form that was Jason Lives. It was not bad in the same way that A New Beginning was--the humor in the film is more similar to the first four films than Parts V and VI. Instead, this film does absolutely nothing. It's an exercise in mediocrity.

There's an interesting twist to The New Blood: the lead character is telekenetic. There were a lot of ways they could have gone with this, and none of them were taken. Instead, she's pretty much the exact same character as Tommy Jarvis in Jason Lives--a supposed "crazy" whom nobody believes.

None of the characters--even the heroine herself--are interesting or nice enough for us to sympathize. Instead, the viewer finds himself tapping his toe impatiently, waiting for the very welcome murders to come.

There is only one (1) worthwhile kill in the entire movie, and it's dedicated to a fourth-tier character that appears for five minutes. A woman is picked up inside her sleeping bag and bashed against a tree, the crunch of bones quite audible.

Where the movie does succeed, however, is in creating several characters more detestable than any of their predecessors. A psychiatrist uses the heroine for his own purposes, and eventually sacrifices her mother to the great and powerful Jason. One bitchy bitch is a total bitch, mocking the psych-ward history of the lead. That's why it's a shame that every kill in the movie either falls under the category of "Being Stabbed," or has already been done in a previous Friday. A man is punched through the chest (Jason Lives). A head is crushed in Jason's bare hands (Part 3). There is nothing thrilling, and most of the kills don't even take place on-screen (presumably due to MPAA pressures).

I haven't heard good things about the following sequels, but...well, there's always hope.

The official Friday the 13th site
Camp Crystal Lake fan site
i-Mockery's article on the infamous sleeping-bag kill

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

i'm digging the jason reviews -- you should do stuff like it more often!

i've got something i think'll make the monday grind next week: Jones Soda 2005 Holiday Pack Tasting Party!

- brian