In a stunning attack on mnemonic-device-fans everywhere, mischievous scientists have classified Pluto as a "dwarf planet," effectively removing it (and pizza) from elementary school curriculums around the world.
But why the sudden change? Well, apparently Pluto doesn't fit into the new list of planet regulations (from BBC News).
- it must be in orbit around the Sun
- it must be large enough that it takes on a nearly round shape
- it has cleared its orbit of other objects
Look at the facts, Jack. Rosie O'Donnell is:
- a) In orbit around the sun.
- To be fair, as inhabitants of this planet Earth, we are all running circles around that star we call our sun.
- b) Very, very round.
- I reckon we could roll Rosie right into that pit of tar down the road. Just give her a nudge and gravity will do the rest.
- c) Clearing her orbit of all other objects
- Believe you me: when Rosie careens toward the buffet line, you'd better believe that everybody in her path either dives for cover or meets a most grisly fate.