The Muh-muh-muhnday Grind

The Monday Grind is starting, and I'll be in class in less than an hour. Fells pretty sucky, doesn't it? If you're anything like me, you'll appreciate a lot of random links pretending to be blog content!

• First, have you been seeing Halloween stuff in stores (already)? If so, snap a picture and you can be made famous on the Internets! Just take a picture and head on over to Player vs. Fish. And always let your conscience be your guide.
  
  
• Cracked may have run you over with their car, but at least they were thoughtful enough to leave a note.
  
  

• Dear Pedestrian:

  If you are reading this letter, that means I left it pinned to your clothes after having driven over you with my car. Hello! The important thing right now is to stay calm. You have in all probability lost a lot of blood. Getting excited will cause your heart to beat faster, pumping blood out of you at a vastly accelerated rate.

  Taped to the bottom of this letter is a whistle, which I've included so that you may alert others to your need for immediate medical care. I ask, however, that you refrain from blowing on the whistle until you finish this letter.

• The Return of the Jay (and what a return)! The biggest mouths in Hollywood on demand, and you're just a click away.
  
  
• When Sam Jackson laughs you know it, because the area around his body gets 60% darker. When The Man drops a laugh, he creates his own shade. And while you bask in that shade, he calls you a motherfucker. That’s how The Big-Mouthed Man rolls.
  
  
• Something Awful brings you sequels (and prequels) to all of your favorite board games in their Photoshop Phriday segment.
  
  
• Proving that history does, indeed, repeat itself, Decker at IAMODB delves into the past of Joe Lieberman.
  
  
• Joseph Lieberman, President of the senior class here at Stamford High, has pledged to create his own party. Lieberman’s vow comes a day after the deadline to buy tickets for prom came and went, and Lieberman found himself dateless. Said Lieberman in his post-rejection statement, “For the sake of our class, our school and my pride, I cannot and will not let that result stand.” Lieberman vowed to create his own party on the same night as the prom which reflects “real Stamford High values.”
  
  
• Have you found yourself surrounded by people moving in slow motion like some music video gone horribly right? If so, check out Improv Everywhere for the explanation.
  
  
• After everyone had assembled I revealed the mission details. We would sychronize our watches and then walk over to Home Depot and shop. At exactly 4:15 we would all begin moving in slow motion. We'd do that for five minutes, and then shop normally for five minutes as if nothing had happened. At exactly 4:25 we would all freeze in place for five minutes. When that was over we would go back to normal and eventually leave the store.
  
  
• Welcome to Rainbowpuke.com, the first site dedicated to the puking of rainbows!
  
  
• Cracked knows that some rap is good, but terrible lyrics can ruin all of that--so here are the five best rap songs ruined by bad lyrics.
  
  
• Kanye made it work again, which makes the Kathy Lee and Regis reference that much more profoundly upsetting. The line is so bad that it defines the way one experiences the entire song. There’s the part before, marked by a vague sense of doom that comes with the knowledge that he’s about to compare Jesus to Regis Philbin. Then there’s the part after, marked by you cringing and hoping nobody else heard how profoundly retarded that line really is.
  
  
• i-Mockery reviews the colorful candy offerings at a Japanese marketplace. Pocky.
  
  
• And finally, this was my favorite discovery of the day. Bubble Rocket! Not only is this beverage called Bubble Rocket, but it's flavor isn't cherry or grape or lemon or lime... it is SPACE FLAVOR!
  
  
• Finally, Something Awful has the exclusive scoop on what R2-D2 was really saying in the original Star Wars. But beware: it's not all sunshine lollipops and rainbows.
  
  
• Get in the pod, you beautiful golden bastard. It's built for four men so it should just barely hold the two of us and your ridiculous sweeping arm movements.

Have a dood gay.