- Hollywood star Jodie Foster and supposed-Jew producer Dean Devlin both stick up for Mel Gibson. Mel Gibson calls them "filthy kikes" and throws his own feces at them.
- "New Twist in Lesbian Custody Fight." Oh, I love twists. Maybe the one was dead the whole time! Or water kills the aliens!
- Over three hundred kids got a severe rash this week from rolling around in the Montana mud. In related news, last week I rubbed my genitals all over the Montana mud.
- "Actress makes most of being lazy." Well I'm lazy and I don't make a goddamn thing. What gives?
Speaking of lazy: that's it for the news this week. Stay tuned this weekend for some tasty movie-related stuff.