Saturday, August 05, 2006

Arbitrary Box Office Results for the Weekend of August 4, 2006

Don't go into Talladega Nights expecting anything on par with Anchorman. Go to Talladega Nights expecting something along the lines of every other Will Ferrell movie of the past three years (there have been so many of them, and nary a good one). However, you can still expect it to be number one at the box office.
  1. The Ballad of the Underwhelming Comedy (Talladega Nights: The Ballad of Ricky Bobby): $42.2 million. The funniest joke is the attribution of a quote in the first twenty seconds.
  2. De-shit (Descent): $20 million. Just because it's one letter way from "decent" doesn't make it so.
  3. I'm sick and tired of damn CGI kids' movies starring talking damn animals. (Barnyard):$18.6 million. I'm sick and tired of damn CGI kids' movies starring damn animals.
  4. Yarrrrrrr (Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man's Chest): $16 million. It be hard to make jokes for a movie this many weeks in a row, savvy?
  5. "It was a all right Jaimee Foxx movie, but it was no Stealth" (Miami Vice): $10.2 million. "Yeah. I appreciated Colin Ferrell's performance but it was no Phone Booth."
Eat shit and die, please?

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