In space, nobody can hear you masturbate.
So do it there for god's sake.
Oh, it's Wednesday. Have some links.
- I found this link via Bestweekever, and it's all about how Sesame Street's Elmo is pretty much a pig fucker.
- I question not only Abby Cadabby but all of Elmo's associates. You may recall that Elmo testified before Congress about music education. But you may not remember who requested Elmo's appearance: Rep. Randy "Duke" Cunningham, now in jail for taking at least $2.4 million in bribes. I'm not implying that Elmo has taken dirty money, but these are the kind of people Elmo surrounds himself with.
- Something Awful has our favorite cartoon characters in horrifying situations. It's not text, but try to imagine Eeyore cutting himself and stuffing coming out. If it makes you laugh (and it sure does) then click here.
- Overheard in New York. Wednesday One Liners. Short choppy sentences.
- Girl: This has sterile in it. I can't buy this; I'm allergic to sterile.
- It's about that time that you worry about drafting your Fantasy Football team if you do that sort of thing. Cracked wants to help.
- You don’t need CRACKED to tell you the first four picks of your draft will be Shaun Alexander, Larry Johnson, LaDainian Tomlinson and Peyton Manning in some varying order. However, here are six special things to watch out for while you wait for your next pick to wind back around to you:
Oh. Here are some crappy movie trailers for crapheads since I wasn't in yesterday.
School For Scoundrels
Fast Food Nation
The Black Dahlia