Arbitrary Box Office Results for the Weekend of August 11, 2006

Diggity damn, it's another weekend. The good news is that I've installed a whopping new 320-gig hard drive in my computer without destroying it. The bad news is there is no bad news.

1. The Feel-Good Movie of the Summer (World Trade Center): $24.7 million. Ever get the feeling that the recent terror alert was just well-timed PR?
   
2. Not Another Teen Horror Movie (Pulse): $22.7 million. Filling that void between Descent and Snakes on a Plane.
   
3. I Abstain From Writing Any More About This Movie (Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man's Chest): $17.6 million. Filling that void left by a complete and utter lack of quality films.
   
4. WARNING: MAN ON MAN KISS. (Talladega Nights: The Ballad of Ricky Bobby):$15.6 million. Just in case your rampant homophobia would like you to leave early.
   
5. Save The Last Dance (Step Up): $10.2 million. Too...shitty...for me to....write...any more about...it.
   

Not making the top five: ZOOM. Zoom zoom zoom. Speeding its way to DVD.