Friday, July 14, 2006

Pirates of the Caribbean Part Two: A Dead-Man's Chest: E-Mail Novelization Part One: The First Part

One day in the Caribbean there were some pirates. One of these pirates of the Caribbean was one Mr. Captain Jack Sparrow, who was one of the saltiest dogs of the seven seas, even though he only sailed around one sea: the Caribbean, where he was a pirate. Mr. Captain Jack Sparrow had two friends--the best friends in the whole wide world! Their names were Will Turner and Elizabeth Swann, and they loved each other so much that they probably would consider marriage or at least living together. I mean who wants to get that serious? They'd probably be better off just seeing each other every once in a while so that the relationship doesn't get stale like so many Ritz-brand crackers.

Mr. Captain Jack Sparrow was lonely because his two best friends were too busy smooching to find time for him, so he took to a life of pirating on the Caribbean. Mr. Captain Jack Sparrow had his very own boat, and it was called the Black Pearl. The Black Pearl was black, and that feature earned it half of its moniker. The Black Pearl was a gem among all of the Caribbean's boats, and that feature earned it the other half of its moniker. There is nobody named Moniker that sails on the Black Pearl. You're thinking of the name "Monica." There is nobody named Monica that sails on the Black Pearl. Moniker isn't even a name. Well, technically the definition of "moniker" is "a name," but Moniker is still not a name in the proper noun sense, and unless it begins a sentence you should not capitalize it.

Mr. Captain Jack Sparrow loved his boat, The Black Pearl, and he made sure it was properly maintained at all times. What kind of a Mr. Captain would he be if he did not run a tight ship with his ship? Not a very good Mr. Captain, I'd wager. Mr. Captain Jack Sparrow met his best friends under the most dire of circumstances. He himself was under attack by dreaded Pirate Ghosts!!! It was only with Will Turner's and Elizabeth Swann's help(s) that Mr. Captain Jack Sparrow could escape the curse and regain control of his boat, the Black Pearl, which too had been overrun by the aforementioned Pirate Ghosts!!! The leader of the Pirate Ghosts!!! was Mr. Captain Jack Sparrow's former first-mate, known to many as Mr. Captain Barbossa. Mr. Captain Barbossa took control of the Black Pearl by TO BE CONTINUED!@

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