- Kid Rock and Pamela Anderson plan to get married multiple times. Then they'll probably realize it just wasn't meant to be and go back to being disgusting alone.
- Activists are protesting a pair of "beer-swilling pigs." Meanwhile, beer-swilling pigs are protesting for more peanuts.
- Oh Jesus, that's an awful joke.
- Maryland school students were caught distributing marijuana gumballs this week, creating the thought of a texture that makes me sick to my stomach.
- "Ice cold watermelon less nutritious." Ice cold black stereotypes must find antioxidants elsewhere.
- CATEGORY: "Medical Mystery." CLUE: "A Mother's Touch Solves It." QUESTION: "What is a raging boner?"
- "I'm sorry. That's incorrect."
- Alex Trebek.
- Is a robot.
- The founder of AOL offered an apology for merging with Time Warner a few years back. Still unrepentant about AIM Triton.
Slow news day, I guess...nothing really worth joking about.
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