- "Mexicans travel to poll protest." Finding it insanely difficult to get back into Mexico.
- "Searching for Wonder Drugs in the Sea." Also probably how Syd Barret died.
- DOG ATTACK! A dog hit a woman with a truck this week. They have to be making these up now.
- A sex offender got a credit on a CD filled with children's lullabies. In the "Special Thanks to:" section for "touching us all."
- Time to turn in your fanclub membership and your big, black glasses. Weezer is dunzo.
- "Witness won't testify at XBox murder trial." In a statement, he said, "Dude, I'm busy. Just fork out the $200 for a new one."
- Keira Knightley claims she has "no tits." Good, then she won't mind my staring.
Thursday, July 13, 2006
The Daily Chronicle: Thursday, July 13, 2006