Saturday, July 08, 2006

Arbitrary Box Office Results for the Weekend of July 7, 2006


It's another one o' them "why-even-bother" weekends. We all know what's going to be number one, and it ain't "The Seven Samurai." I rewatched the first "Pirates" movie last night, and it was better than I remember it. I'm going to have to catch this sequel after all, I guess.
  1. Pirates on a Boat (Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man's Chest): $111.11 million. Judging by our ticket sales during Friday matinees, there's no way anything's going to top this one all Summer long.
  2. Alien in a Cape (Superman Returns): $21 million. Judging by our ticket sales during Friday matinees, people have decided not to see quality films like this.
  3. Bitches in a Shoe Company (The Devil Wears Prada):$11 million. Judging by our ticket sales during Friday matinees, this is the perfect niche movie for people too old or too female to see "Pirates" or "Superman."
  4. Cars on a Track (Cars): $4.1 million. Dead.
  5. Adam Sandler in a Crappy Movie (Click): $3.4 million. Although "Adam Sandler in a Crappy Movie" is kind of synonymous with "Adam Sandler in a Movie."
Seriously. Fudge y'all.

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