Wednesday, August 10, 2005

My crusade is beginning once again.

To the "Put Your Damn Collar Down" Group:

We are about to breach our second year as an anti-collar commune, and it is important to remember to reaffirm your life-commitment to this glorious group. As the weather starts getting colder, and all of the naked people around you invariably decide to put shirts on, a gentle nudge in the right direction will keep them from doing something drastic and popping their collars.

Another school year is about to begin performing its slow, soul-sucking death upon us all: please do not forget your solemn duty as a human being and a decent person to assist any new Freshmen who may believe that popping their collar is cool. Also, friendly reminders to upper classmen are still encouraged.

And remember. With this reaffirmation of your beliefs and a small donation of at least seven thousand dollars, you too could have your very own Put Your Damn Collar Down tote bag.

If we start preparing now, an epidemic could be averted and Shippensburg University will remain safe and serene for another year. Thank you, and may your journeys be filled with much pie and laughter.


King Spoodles VIII of the Put Your Damn Collar Down Syndicate


On a personal note (one of the few personal notes you'll find on this website anymore), my goal is complete. I have officially dropped 100 pounds since March 27, 2005. I don't mean to brag, and I know some people who claim I've become a "different person," but I am extremely happy and proud of myself and wanted to announce this benchmark officially. I've gone from 300 pounds to 200 pounds, a weight I finally hit this week, through a process of simply eating properly and exercising every day. Other things I'm especially proud of:

  • I'm able to run over six miles at a time (within an hour period) without feeling winded these days. When I began jogging in late May, I couldn't do half a mile without feeling so winded that I had to stop and walk.
  • At a recent doctor's appointment, my blood pressure was entirely healthy.
  • Since I began exercising, I have not once had to use my asthma inhaler (which I once relied on at least two puffs per day).
  • Despite the fact that I've lost 100 pounds, I've gained muscle--meaning I've lost over 100 pounds of body fat.
  • The stretch marks are there to stay, but the man boobs and gut are almost non-existant.
  • According to the Body Mass Index, over 205 pounds for my height is overweight. I am now, this week, considered to be a healthy, average adult weight.

The weight loss was originally just meant to be for a role in a film where I wanted to look very strung-out. While the movie basically fell through, I am happy to report that I am in tip-top physical condition and prepared to topple my next challenge: becoming a contestant (and, in the end, winning) Survivor.

Anyway, sorry for the personal/bragging post. I just wanted to express the joy.

Link dump for your troubles if you made it through this stupid post.

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