Probably misses his old glasses

So what has this life wrought since I last regaled you with inane thoughts and banal chatter almost a month ago?

• Internetted Datting--the update! I said I wasn't going to update on this anymore, but then I met a special la-dy. We've been seeing each other for something like a month-and-a-half now, with the hope that there will be many, many more month-and-a-halfs to follow. We've been commuting back and forth to each other's houses every weekend and some weekdays, much to the detriment of my blogging and much to the benefit of the oil companies.
  
  
• Derek and Ashley had their baybee Congratulations to both of you. If you read this, Baron Von Trundlebed (which I doubt because you're busy raising a small child), I would like to shake hands with your son sometime, and I also have a small gift for mommy and daddy.
  
  
• I'm planning on starting a rap group called "Brigham Old," with the first album to be called "Too Brig for Their Bitches."
  
  
• I've gone far too long without my big, black emo glasses. If I could choose what my first child would look like, he would look like those glasses. And instead of feeding him, I would wear him on my face. Like glasses. In January, I'll finally have vision insurance (and dental insurance), and so I'll be able to get some saucy new glasses.
  
  
• Saw a kid on Heelys (correct spelling--I checked) blowing around the mall the other night screaming at the top of his lungs. His parents were completely oblivious. Somebody needs to give that kid a high five...right to his face.
  
  Seriously. If I ever have a kid, I'm gonna teach him to shut up.
  
  With duct tape.
  
  Don't give me that look! It is like a diaper for words!

Well, now that I'm about to be court-ordered never to set foot near a child again, I guess I should be off. Good day, friends!