Freshman Retrospectus

I finished my last paper yesterday. I'm done. No more schoolwork for me ever.

As such, it's only fitting that I do some sort of college retrospective. Here is part one.

FRESHMAN YEAR (2003-2004)

CDS OF THE AGE: David Bowie: Reality
Mike Errico: Skimming
Belle and Sebastian: Dear Catastrophe Waitress
Badly Drawn Boy: One Plus One is One
Seven Mary Three: Dis/Location
Morrissey: You Are the Quarry
Damien Rice: O

MOVIES OF THE AGE:
Lord of the Rings: Return of the King
Big Fish
Kill Bill

August 21, 2003: My last day with the kids at home. Lose ten bucks at the horse races. About fifteen of us go to the Diner and break bread--quite literally. This is our "last supper." Sit on my car talking to Timbo for two hours.

August 22, 2003: Move into Mowrey Hall with Nick. Our traditions include "playing" Jeopardy against one another every night. My brother lives in the King St. apartment that would later become mine.

August 25, 2003: First day of classes. I am an Elementary Education major.

September 11, 2003: Our first "Movie Night"--this becomes a tradition every Thursday night through Freshman year. CUB food and a movie. This is how I meet Brad Keen, who will influence my life in a major way come sophomore year.

October 7, 2003: I write this poem:

Oh delicious turkey dinner! I love you like I
have never loved anyone or anything before.

Oh delicious lunch of turkey dinner leftovers,
you are also reasonably good.

October 9, 2003: Theresa and Katy come in from Harrisburg and join us for movie night. We watch Time Cop. Women never enter our dorm room again.

October 22, 2003: Elliott Smith commits suicide. He was my favorite musician (and still is).

November 7, 2003: Go to Philadelphia with Theresa, Katy, and Christopher and see Eddie Izzard in concert.

November 14, 2003: My brother and I travel to Philly to see Belle and Sebastian in concert.

December 21, 2003: Theresa gives me a Christmas present--a number of poems on a nicely made frame thing. By far one of the best presents I ever got.

December 31, 2003: Kiss Anna under the mistletoe.

January 11, 2004: Eat eleven oatmeal creme pies on a dare. Get very sick. Also, I get a new car--1996 Cevrolet Cavalier, which I still drive. Rest in peace, Crown Vic.

February 14, 2004: Spend Valentine's Day with Anna for our one-month.

March 2, 2004: Nick writes this.

"mike has his window closed (like it matters, they are next to each other) and is in bed. soon he will put a sheet on his legs. i think he is a girl, i have (thank god) never seen his penis, so maybe he has none. no one has seen my penis maybe i am a girl. inquire within."

March 14, 2004: Anna and I split up. I don't date anybody for the rest of college because I am too shy and/or fat.

March 16, 2004: I tell a telemarketer that I passed away over Spring Break. Telemarketers never call our room again.

March 27, 2004: I go for a five-hour walk--13 miles round trip--into the next county by myself, and I come back dehydrated, chafed, and stiff. I spend the next day in bed, thinking about writing a novel about a fat man who walks across the country.

May 5, 2004: I discover the communal computer game Counterstrike with the guys in my dorm hall, and also Ryan's Steakhouse, the home of the all-you-can-eat steak buffet.

May 7, 2004: I go to CD's prom with my sister's friend Jillian. With no real pressure, it was probably the most fun of my three proms.

May 18, 2004: School is over. We go out yelling "random heys" from the car. These are our new code names.

Mr. Peabody (Miles)
Flash Gordon (Derek)
Princess Pizaz (Ashley)
Froderick (Me)
Sweet Meat (K-Rex)

May 11, 2004: I see David Bowie at HersheyPark stadium.

June 18, 2004: Chris and I spend the weekend at Wildwood, NJ and troll the boardwalk. He wears a shiny, gold shirt. We spend one night watching old people play Bocce and acting like sports commentators.