Saturday, March 17, 2007

My hips don't lie

I work at a fairly busy place that holds a lot of children and unaccompanied teenagers. Yesterday was my day to clean out the lost and found, and boy did I ever get a goodie! In addition to old coats and grimy, empty wallets, I found a MYSTERY MIX CD!

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The purple CD-R is labeled "Diam's This Good Stuff 1st CD." If Diam recommends it, how could it possibly be bad? Let's take a listen and explore, shall we?

TRACK 1: "Eeny meeny miney moe! How many bitches in the club wanna go?" I do, I do! A little research shows me that this track is "I Know You See It" by Young Joc. It's a little bit catchy, if unvaried. Of course, the novelty wears off when somebody claims that "you're chewing on my pussy like a piece of bubble gum.

TRACK 2: "Eeny meeny miney moe!" You've gotta be kidding me. The whole thing got kind of tiresome the first time around, but "I Know You See It" by Young Joc makes its triumphant return immediately. Diam broke one vital mix CD rule here, where he/she used two tracks by the same artist (or, in this case, the same track repeated).

TRACK 3: Populist music to the rescue. Shakira's "Hips Don't Lie," and she's starting to feel it's right. I had the honor of living Summer 2006 in my iPod, so I didn't get tired out by this song's seeming omnipresence (when it started, this song illicted groans from everyone else in the room). To me, this is a fairly fun track and worth listening to.

TRACK 4: Lady music continues to reign. This song is apparently "We Ride" by Rihanna. It's your fairly standard slow R&B club song. The "we ride" chorus is kind of catchy at first, but once again the song overstays its welcome until the 4:00 mark when we get blessed silence.

TRACK 5: Ah, the old mix CD standby--a piano ballad. My first thought was that this song would be Evanescence, but I was dead wrong. It's our friend Rihanna again, with "Unfaithful." While the repeating artist again breaks a number of cardinal Mix Tape rules, it's nice to have a respite from the dance beats for a little. There's even a little melody here. Nice.

TRACK 6: You're kidding? The Isley Brothers? Nice. Wonder how our teenaged Diam got into the Isley Brothers? Oh. It's the Isley Brothers Featuring R. Kelly. That explains it. Anyway, this song is called "Contageous." Sort of a slow ballad of an R&B song. Put it in your next movie during the sex scene.

TRACK 7: More standard R&B. Sounds like it could have been Boyz II Men from my formative elementary school years, but it's "Entourage" by Omarion. Nothing objectionable, but nothing exceptional either.

TRACK 8: If there's one thing I hate in rap music, it's the constant repetition. Here is the chorus of this song. "Stuntin' like my daddy. Stuntin' like my daddy. Stuntin' like my daddy. Stuntin' like my daddy. Stuntin' like my daddy. Stuntin' like my daddy. Stuntin' like my daddy." Guess what the song is called. If you guessed "Stuntin' Like My Daddy" by Lil Wayne, you'd be correct. I'm not hip enough to know what stuntin' is, and I'm not hip enough to enjoy this song.

TRACK 9: More annoying repetition. "Walk it out, walk it out, walk it out, walk it out." Sounds like a baseball coach talking to some whiny little leaguer, but no, it's just our good friend DJ UNK telling us to "Walk It Out."

TRACK 10: A lovemaking song! This one is called "Long Way 2 Go" by Cassie, and it earns extra points for the use of "2" instead of "to." There is a bit of repartee between Cassie and a male collaborator that is downright hilarious to me. Otherwise, more of the same I guess. The beat here is better than several previous songs, though.

TRACK 11: This is the last track, and I appreciate the brevity of Diam's mix. So many amateur mix-makers will fill up the whole eighty minutes of a blank CD, but conciseness is a virtue. This disc runs less than 42 minutes, and that's including a repeating track. Anyway, this song is called "I Wanna Fuck You" by AKON. This is a remix starring Snoop Dogg, which I can appreciate because I like his voice. The chorus is actually pretty catchy as well. Second best on the disc, next to Shakira.

IN TOTO: I have nothing really to add here. The biggest excitement of mystery mix CDs is discovering the person's musical taste. I dream of the day when I find a mystery mix that initiates me to something new and wonderful, but this CD will do as well. Rap beats are nice for jogging at any rate, so I deemed this disc (with the exception of track 2) iPod-worthy. I would include free downloads, but my favorite server site has been down for ages now. Just pretend, or listen to free samples on iTunes.

1. Young Joc: I Know You See It
2. Young Joc: I Know You See It
3. Shakira: Hips Don't Lie
4. Rihanna: We Ride
5. Rihanna: Unfaithful
6. Isley Brothers featuring R. Kelly: Contageous
7. Omarion: Entourage
8. Lil Wayne: Stuntin' Like My Daddy
9. DJ UNK: Walk It Out
10. Cassie: Long Way 2 Go
11. AKON: I Wanna Fuck You


Sami said...

I actually kinda like Akon's "I Wanna Fuck You". Shhh.

Anonymous said...

Yo Man THis iS DIAM!! I WUN Muh CD BAK, boi!@ BACK! yA HEAR ME CUZ? shit.

Anonymous said...

Hahahahaaa. The stupid teenie wanted to hear the first track on repeat, so she just repeated it. Yeah. Very nice. I guess you're really not a Xanga person are you? Then again, what in the hell happened to your Xanga? Did you delete half of it???