I swear, officer!

Honestly! The bomb I made was meant to blow up that there beaver dam, not my girlfriend's headpiece!

• According to sheriff's deputies, Wilkins had threatened the ex-girlfriend, then threw the bottle bomb at her car as she drove into her yard in Rougemont, North Carolina, about 30 miles north of Raleigh, North Carolina. Witnesses said the bomb exploded in "a large fireball," and then rolled back toward Wilkins, igniting his shorts. Public Defender Lawrence Campbell said Wilkins' target was a beaver dam that blocked a waterway, and that the bomb was ignited by ash from his cigarette that fell onto the fuse.

I don't really see it as a valid excuse, but it makes sense, in a Rube Goldberg-ian kind of way.

1. Drop ash from cigarette
2. Ash lights bomb fuse
3. Bomb kills saucy ex-girlfriend
4. Wolf eats girlfriend's body
5. Wolf gets bad indigestion
6. Wolf eats a TUMS
7. Wolf feels better
8. Wolf rips down offending beaver dam because he hates goddamn beavers!

IT CAN'T FAIL!