CNN is Not My Sugar Daddy

If you read this week's Understatement of the Week (or the "No Shit!" Headline of the week), you'll note that all of these links are to CNN (as are most of the news-type links I produce on this site). I have no particular affiliation to CNN, nor do I particularly care for it. However, I've found that all of the major online news sites have the exact same news as all of the rest. As such, I only keep a close eye on one of them: CNN.

I felt the need to disclaim any future claims of douchebaggedness.

To make this post fun, here are some super-hott CNN headlines that just don't fit into my features.

• Judge: Banana didn't taint verdict
  
  
• Now, you see, this headline is awesome for two reasons. One: it doesn't make a whole lot of sense on its own (nor does it make particular sense upon closer examination of the article).. Two: it uses the word "Taint." Enjoy the grundles, folks.
  
  
• 'Phones don't ring in heaven'
  
  
• If I had a feature called "Headline Most Likely To Be the Title to a Judy Blume Book for Preteen Girls," this would be the one. However, I have neither that feature nor a vagina. Go figure.

So that's my world. Thanks for the mammaries.