Hey. How are you? I am fine. I've been spending a lot of my time working on school stuff and watching television. Oh, I forgot, I've been recently...praising...you...and stuff. And also praying. A lot. And bathing in holy water. And discriminating against those Jewish people that killed you and all.
So I was just taking some time to pray to you because I have a bit of a problem. You see, I want a million dollars. A lot. And I figure, hey, Jesus is a smart guy. I mean, he found out a way to come back to life after he got killed by a bunch of Jewish people in that Mel Gibson movie. He can probably help me out and give me some ideas that will help me get rich and stuff. I'd prefer it in $100 bills, but if you can't get smaller than $1000 bills, that's fine too.
Your humblest servant,
Give me lots of money,
P.S. to Jesus: you look like a man who loves him some tasty links. Here are some places you could go if you want to laugh, or, you know, if you just need something to beat off to. I'll even give you an extra big helping.
- I like Kristen Dunst, but this guy hates her so much that it's funny
- Finally, the master gets credit for his original works (check out the MP3)
- Oh to be a statue...
- A funny musical short film (The phrase "Raspberry Titties" is featured prominently)
- Two stories by Joli that are hilarious: Part One and Part Two....oh, and brand new Part Three
- All the Simpsons Music you could possibly need...
- Top Ten "24"-isms
- Online Mad-Libs
- I love your vagina too!