I prefer my tacos without lettuce. When you're eating a taco, the last thing you want to think about is health food. You want to be thinking of Grade-F meat at Grade-A prices.
And sometimes the people at Taco Bell make you a taco without lettuce, but there is lettuce on their gloves anyway and so you'll get a shred or two of lettuce on your taco.
And that...THAT...is why I murdered a small Mexican boy.