News story most affecting the people locked in my basement

"Korean sex slaves take refuge in U.S."

• The group is the first from North Korea to be given official refugee status since passage of a 2004 law that makes it easier for North Koreans to apply for such status.

They're trying to give these sexy, sexy sex slaves basic human rights? What next? Pretty soon, my own sex slaves are going to revolt...or worse: unionize.

In related news...

• Sen. Sam Brownback, R-Kansas, said the six refugees arrived at an undisclosed U.S. location Friday night from a Southeast Asian nation. He would not identify from which nation they came because of worries about security for their families.

And then later:

• The U.S. special envoy on North Korean human rights, Jay Lefkowitz, told a congressional hearing last week: "We need to do more -- and we can and will do more -- for the North Korean refugees."

Way to go, U.S. Special Envoy on North Korean Human Rights Jay Lefkowitz. Douschebag.